WK5: Zunto(1-1) vs All Seeing Eye(1-3)

[Bag Mandela]

WK5

Punches due: Tuesday 16th September

Voting ends: Friday 19th September

You know the rules, if not, refer to the rule thread.

@Zunto @All Seeing Eye

[Zunto]

Gee thanks

Never put me up against a fagit ever again pls. Check

[All Seeing Eye]

Gee, I sure am depressed. I have 3victions quote that he posted before he DMed me for sex, it's a shame he left me when he caught me collecting cream combos from both teams of a local mens water polo match. I was making strides in the vegan sausage industry but they fired me because my efforts were on making them throb when you bit them rather than flavor or marketability. To this day I sigh and weep when I find a nice safe corner.

Prologue
The evening of a September Thursday

Zunto was sitting in his apartment, halfheartedly watching a rerun of Sex in the City while gingerly nibbling on a salad from Starbucks*. Throughout the time he sat nibbling, Zunto felt something was amiss and it relentlessly nagged at him. With the anxiety dominating his thought processes, Zunto logged into RB to find a man for sex which he figured would soothe him better than a fair-trade organic cup of lavender tea could. However, his expectations for inner peace and cock were ruined when he looked at the 1-2 Punch League matchup and saw he was paired against none other than All Seeing Eye.

Tears began to blur Zuntos vision, which when mixed with his mascara led to discomfort and smearing in his delicate eyes. After making his way to the local home goods store for some throw pillows (of which he already had many) and trying to score a quick ooze to the caboose he made it back to his apartment complex and logged into his computer. The feelings of koombayah he had worked so hard to attain was drained in an instantupon reminder of his newest 1-2 Punch battle- not so much for the fear of losing as that was long ago replaced by the comfort of familiarity but rather the daunting an unenviable task of having to encounter All Seeing Eye. Understanding his precarious situation, Zunto realized his only hope was to display himself as dainty and harmless and thus he unleashed his ace in the hole... the ultimate move to show one is unable to put together approximately 30 words or hold a firm wrist...

He checked in instead of writing a few (uninspired and of course not-at-all impressive) words.
__________________________________________________ _____________________

You're going to eat de-feet like you devour cock by the inches... no, yards.
Having guys snort roofies and viagra is the only time this guys lines drop & hit bros hard

__________________________________________________ _____________________

Battle: Concluded.



*- Please note the author doesn't know Starbucks menu and gives nowhere near enough of a fuck to look.

[Zunto]

Eye’s past his prime, even started the league on a losing streak
So why blast the 9? We’re already left w/ a shell of what you used to be

[All Seeing Eye]

Epilogue

Zunto is here to find his Mr Nude
He tried for Mr Nude
He cried for Mr Nude
He crossed the line for Mr Nude
Zunto rides for Mr Nude
He'll die for Mr Nude
He won't lie to Mr Nude
He'd fry for Mr Nude
He wants time with Mr Nude
He can't deny a Mr Nude
Zunto tried a Mr Nude
He let it slide with Mr Nude.

[Zunto]

@mods never put me against this loser again pls

[All Seeing Eye]

Or you'll bite another line from a 50 Tyson ad-lib book again?

[Zunto]

So unfunny

[All Seeing Eye]

Thanks, it was inspired by your Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh lines. After seeing your antics here I have no doubts you carry rhinestones and glitter glue when you go out in public.

[Bag Mandela]

No one lost, both winners. Shell of what you used to be was dope. Eggs prologue and bar were joke.

Giving this one to the Culture