Excerpts from my rhyme books

[Ragian]

My MIND is hyper active
As I begin to practice
In comBAT I am adaptive
My Enemies are my captives
In BAttle I’m never passive
InSTEAD I use aggression
TO complete my mission
I DO it with my wisdom
VictoRY is what I envision
I wage WAR against the system
EveryDAY I train my lyrical ability
Challenge ME that is futility
There is NO time for humility
Im FURIOUS with my ferocity
If you’re ahead of me then I’ll surPASS you with my velocity.

- - - Updated - - -

I spit shit quick
and I hit never miss
always pleasure not business
I turned your missus
into one of my bitches
or mistress whatever you call it
she can be my witness
I make you run but not for the fitness
I got you searching for tips and tricks
to beat my disses
open up your mouth and drink my piss
you can be my bitch
I’ll sever your body and bury it in several ditches
I never get stitches cuz I’m to slick to get hit
I never hang with nitwits or twisted twits
enough’s enough so stop standing and sit

[Ragian]

Read my book
I only need one look
To leave mudda-effers shook
F with me I’ll strike you with the mic
Right, I’m always prepared to fight
Never lose without learning
That’s why I’m a dangerous rapper
Never erase my rhymes
Live life. No regrets
You bet even death fear me
When it comes with my caliber
Ain’t no one near me
Everybody fear me cuz they don’t understand me
I do this rap isht on the daily
Write in my rhyme book
One page a day keeps the haters away
Never hesitate when I write
Clowns don’t wanna f with the source of the light
I’m the god of the day
And the devil of the night
If you want to be the best you gotta learn from the best
I’m the king south, east, north, west
Challenge me? Be my guest and you’ll earn my respect
That’s it for now
See you next rhyme
Out.

[Ragian]

I spit shit quick
Faster than lightning fast fists
At dim wits who can’t resist my clever wits
And I persist
One of the greatest MC’s to ever spit a diss
At your bitches
I’m quick to bury your body in ditches
You get lost in the mist
You can be a witness
To my great business
I slap your face and you’re lipless
You’re dead RIP on my hitlist.

[Ragian]

Look into my mind
And you will find
I got a dangerous mind
that produces dangerous rhymes
Sometimes I hesitate when I rhyme
But all that does is a waste some time
Look
I don’t even need to rhyme
I paint a picture in your mind with ideas
Thoughts and concepts that can free us
This is just the beginning
And I’m winning
I write Titanic
And MC’s begin to panic
And my rhyme’s is magic
Not tragic
I’m precise like mathematics
And quick like acrobatics
I’m sporadic
Lyrics come at ya like artillery
with infinite ammunition
To complete the mission
I’m accomplished cuz I’m always learning
And you know the fire in my heart is always burning
While the world keeps on turning
All is fair in warfare
I don’t care if you think I’m weird
Go ahead
Stop and stare
But if you aim to take me down you best beware
And in got the force of ten thousand lions that completes me
And non of y’all can defeat me
I’m unbreakable and indestructible
You can’t break me
And I don’t care if you hate me
Think you got what it takes to our shine me?
Then step up and show me and you’ll get my respect
There is no evil in my heart
I’m a pure soul, and I hope you be blessed…
…and my mind pauses again my friend…
…I pause and reflect…
Why must I pause and reflect..?
Regardless
I jot my thoughts down
And listen to my heart
I am Hip Hop
and I made art out of my heart.

[Main Character]

You are rhyming clean but you arent completing thoughts or showing structure in any format.
This flow is very outdated."

ABABA
A rhymes with a b rhymes with b
This is how you rap.
It's also one of the most basic patterns.

If you arent from America and have learned a new language to rap this is nice.
But if you want to elevate you need to make complex look simple while making each line more immersive.

When you started off you said "Look into my mind."
You should create an interesting way to do so.
You are just giving concepts away without fulfilling them.

once you understand rhyme schemes up to C or D I would go to Poetic meter.,

/ -/ -/ -/ -/ -/ <- these stressed syllables and unstressed syllables. In reality its a syllable to any multi that can be abusived when correctly on beat. anyword you say create a specific sound more than any other.

A very intresting fact is these forums are made in a such a way that a full line on text can fit 4 multis and if u look at the best that have been here this is what they do they use all the space to create amazing ideas and concepts while staying on beat with a rhymescheme one day you can even create a unique meter.

My favorite meter is Iambic a Latin verse drama that gives it gravitas

[Ragian]

Thanks for the feedback. Yeah, I definitely have room for improvement. I really don't know about all the technical stuff when it comes to rapping. Writing lyrics is a hobby and I don't plan on becoming a professional rapper. Thanks again.