RW WK4:Virbius vs Fresh (OPEN FOR FEEDBACK)

[Bag Mandela]

Regular Battle
Bars due Saturday 16th Nov
Public voting closes Monday
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Overall public vote = 1 vote
MV’s vote = 1 vote
Bags vote = 1 vote
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6 lines each (doesn’t have to be 3 bars with a set up, punch format, you have creative freedom)



Posting explanations / references below your bars is strongly recommended.
Rebuttals, late drops (unless you have a 24hr ext) & no shows are an instant loss.

MV & I will reach a conclusion on bar of the week & the winner will receive $20 to purchase a small quantity of narcotics.

@Virbius @Fresh

If it is looking likely Fresh is going to no show, he will be replaced by ChatGPT for this round

[Virbius]

Ay Fresh…
Fresh?
Anyone seen Fresh? no? ok.

Tryna wipe evidence off the tiled floor pouring bleach straight as I seethe hate and then I kick the bucket of blood, I’m like ‘jeez, great…’
‘Now I gotta start over’, in a peeved state, and since it’s Fresh I guess it was deemed fate but either way it’s right to say I gotta clean slate.
Get it? coz I have to, um, clean the tiles? He finally showing some guts; it’s his spleen and bile. hey any Fresh news? it’s fucking been a while.
Please excuse him guys he just had to, uh, flee a mile… no sign of Fresh, Bags, oh his frees’re riled (/freezer aisle’d??) I dunno.
Fresh? Fresh??
Bro I didn’t mean it when I said to get lost… you got upset about whose rhyming pun won and wept lots... psst, he’s not Fresh, he’s clearly spoiled, he just …went off? …bye?
Ah he was a smart cookie but was he ever bred for this, I guess not… (not Fresh? Bread? Cookie? …yes? what?) …this is just getting harder and harder for him as he gets soft. Fucking pussyole.

[Bag Mandela]

FreshGPT's bars:

My rhymes cut like bronze swords forged by Vulcan’s flame,
You can’t match the gods—stay in mortal lane,
Playin' tiddlywinks for Virbius is a risk,
Because he's so frail he might slip a disc,
But he keeps playin’ like it’s life or death,
Flippin’ chips with fingertips, call it "soft-spoken threats,"

(Input: write a battle rap verse for an opponent called Virbius & add in something about how his love for tiddlywinks makes him soft / a homosexual)




FEEDBACK

Tryna wipe evidence off the tiled floor pouring bleach straight as I seethe hate and then I kick the bucket of blood, I’m like ‘jeez, great…’
‘Now I gotta start over’, in a peeved state, and since it’s Fresh I guess it was deemed fate but either way it’s right to say I gotta clean slate.
wording & multis in this are dope, seethe hate, peeved state haha, clean slate was a nice punch too
Get it? coz I have to, um, clean the tiles? He finally showing some guts; it’s his spleen and bile. jeeez hey any Fresh news? it’s fucking been a while. talk
Please excuse him guys he just had to, uh, flee a mile… no sign of Fresh, Bags, oh his frees’re riled this is illlll (/freezer aisle’d??) I dunno.
Fresh? Fresh??
Bro I didn’t mean it when I said to get lost… you got upset about whose rhyming pun won and wept lots... psst, he’s not Fresh, he’s clearly spoiled, he just …went off? …bye?the fresh / spoiled / went off link is hard
Ah he was a smart cookie but was he ever bred for this, I guess not… (not Fresh? Bread? Cookie? …yes? what?) …this is just getting harder and harder for him as he gets soft. Fucking pussyole.

Closer was dope and the added "fucking pussyole" was a nice touch.

Another solid verse, the commentary throughout is a nice touch too. The actual Fresh would've had a hard time facing Virb in this kind of form. Extra props for droppin this standard within a day of it being announced.

open for feedback

[TheShaman]

This was probably the least favourite verse I've seen from Virbius. But I guess he know there was no opponent anyway, so not like it matters..

[MarkB]

This section of the site seems a HUGE disappointment, was this a battle I'm not sure what is actually going on

Vote Virbius

If you want me to break it down.. I don't feel like I need too

[HEK TEAFY]

man I really loved v's verse like it was a narrative or spoken word speaking the truth I enjoyed fresh verse too but felt it wasn't as interesting read as v's.....


MVGT=V