Rhyme Cypher

[TheShaman]

Cravendale? I guess the UK is still craving Danish milk.
When the Scandinavians invaded we were raising hell.
Bag Mandalas ancesters couldn't even Savoirself.
You were raped and pillaged for steaks and dinners while you made us mjød.
You could get killed for saying things in a racist image like Emmett Till.
Now we just sell them milk, pastry, pilsners and bacon still.
And after Brexit they're just made to pay the bill.
So it ain't the ancient hills when Vestas are making mills.
But Mandelas' still born and raised in Peasantville.
So he don't even need Beowulf or epic tales.
Cuz he's afraid of the flying monsters Chem and Trail.
If he could read, he would still recieve letter mail.
Yo fuck the NHS, your dentist's from the NHL.

[TheShaman]

And yo, I just watched the episode with "dogs are dope"
That shit was pretty funny, bro
I mean, it tickled my funny bone
But I'm surprised these honest folk don't have down the nuts and bolts
It's like they got exposed like I was watching The Maury Show
All they said was worn out tropes
Walking slow in zombie mode
So maybe we should get Tommy Jones to come and blow their brains out with this gun I tote
Cut them out of our lives like toxic hos
I almost thought it was a hoax and lost my hope
Cuz sometimes it's hard to cope
But then you just gotta blow a snotty nose
Before it all erodes like fallen snow
And you get trodden cold in the first moshpit row
So you can be like Patrick Swayze shaping pots in Ghost
I could probably find more rhymes with "dogs are dope"
But even if you want some mo'
We have to close the envelope
Cuz that's all she wrote

Not really true, but it rhymed, hehe.


Next rhyme: Funkylicious.

[Bag Mandela]

Before you added the second post with funkylicious,
I thought shaman fucked up like getting crunk with wizards,
This month is vicious, busy in the field like pumpkin pickers,
I drop some gay bars in a couple disses but for the record I like to spunk in bitches,
Though if I had pussy lips n lovely tits I'd probably look quite good in knickers,
Ya mum-buys spice like Curry dishes,
I push more buttons than young beginners in stenography with stubby fingers after huffing thinners,
Been in more rabbit holes than Thumpers wishes,
Couldn't hang with us if they had monkey fingers,
Bars unusual n some ridiclous but always cave in ya mind like a spelunking business

Next rhyme: Catastrophic

[TheShaman]

I'm catastrophic like Japanese aeronautics.
Cuz I crash and bomb shit. The calamities: Astronomic.
I blow a sack of weed from California.
And after that I dine and dash at NOMA.
Where they have a twist of childrens blood in my panna cotta.
You don't like gin, so you're just having a glass of tonic.
You were on Tinder with The Little Match Girl, that's the saddest story.
Cuz from what I heard she actually had you horny.
But she stroked untill she froze to death and passed to glory.
So the following necrophiliac act was statutory.
Cuz this faggot's prolly a huge fan of gory..
I'm sure there must be some kind of allegory.
But that ain't my territory. I'm just rhyming like it's mandatory.
You can tell his rap is corny and this faggot flaunts it.
You're like a wet bicycle saddle: Bag is on it.
So you better Bacdafucup, that's an album from Onyx.
Before I have you shut down like it's animatronics.
Just lay back and watch it like you bought it from Panasonic.
And don't move a muscle like you're probably catatonic.
I actually fucked up before, I forgot to add a topic.
That may have been a tad myopic. I'll blame the cali chronic.
Maybe it's tragic. We don't have the comic side like Aristotle.
Bag Mandela's saying he dropping gay bars.. That's ironic.
Yo fuck it, I stretched it out, but your girl finds that erotic.
So she wants my magic wand like I'm Harry Potter.
She said Bag would never get to touch it, that's a condom.
So regarding love he was still in the cave. That's Platonic.

Next rhyme: potent potion

[Bag Mandela]

People never appreciate the soulless notion,
Of living 20 miles northwest up the road from Oldham,
I’ve reorganised my life to give the most devotion,
Measured by time / duration / total moments,
To preparing for something bigger than ebola, Snowden,
Joseph Rogan, maybe even overthrows the GOATed “Frozen”,
Cuz I’ve heard everybody’s doing a brand new dance now, come on baby, do the locomotion,
I dress fly, but fashions like a potent potion, like being sold emotion,
can you imagine being a fashion-focused Trojan admiring how dope a Roman’s togas woven?
Their ratios are broken, I put lines on em invoking quotients,
I play snap until ya bones are broken,
I avoid Christians, I wholly ghost em,
Wake me up on a Sunday morning? It’s over, roast em,
Bring more racket n argy than the Cordoba Open

Next rhyme: Lighting fixture

[TheShaman]

Ay, that was dope!

Lighting fixture? I might have seen a lighthouse in the far out distance.
Cuz the mist is thick in the North Sea when the viking's get ya.
I'm on a high collision course with this cyber-wigger.
I'm on the net all day today, so I guess I'm a winner.
Now the ball's in my court. And Imma hitter. Like your sister.
Nah, I guess you win some and you lose some. Daylight's agenda.
I'm Forrest Gump playing ping pong in the silent winter.
I'ts like I'm laying drums on hit song cuz time is ticking.
But I've been diggin in the crates like I'm Large Professor.
Trying to reach Allah though these bars like the 5 Percenters.
I've got all types of bitters for when I'm mixing my elixirs.
But this bitch don't like Negroni's, just Campari Spritz's.
Your old man told you you could rap and the sky's the limit.
But I'm sad to say he was lyin, king. Like Scar and Simba.
I didn't mean to burst your bubble.. like a blister.
I just served you coffee without sugar like barristas.
I like the truth. I don't buy religion like politicians.
I'm not a Christian but I'm on a mission to fight the system.
There was a brutal dynasty in Nicaragua called the Somosistas.
So I'm bringin revolution to the people like the Sandinistas.
I've got piles of gifts for all my bitches like it's pirate shipments.
But there's no need to buy them lipsticks or invite to dinners.
Cuz the narcissistic witches all inside their mirrors.
They might get left quicker than if I'm swiping Tinder.
And then they may say I'm some kind of psychic hipster.
But yo the Shaman's on fire and I'm lighting shit up.
I hit your bitch in the shower just like I'm Hitchcock.
And put that on my mama if you thought I slipped up.
She was choking, so I had to give her Heimlich and stuff.
And then she scremed, cuz I'm psycho when I'm knifing a slut.
Blood all over the scene like that time of the month.
I'm violent with the violins, the siren is sung.
She loves it every time that I cum.
I just swap a fly on her bum.
And the cycle is done.

Next rhyme: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

[Bag Mandela]

If this doesnt end up sounding forced itll be a miracle

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious,
Yo,
This dudes a madly masochistic renty fan of boners,
Rumour has it that he's stiff if any man approaches
I screwed ya nan in maccys with intensely savage focus,
Bruised her vag its blackened tint is Dele Adebola,
Proven fact is that bitch bringing sexy back is bogus,
Your smoothness has dyspraxic spirit, every task is hopeless,
You were handed pads n given helmets as a bonus,
Soups a challenge, accurate as pressure blasting hoses

Next rhyme: universal fit

[TheShaman]

Hahaha "you were handed pads n giving helmets as a bonus" got me. I actually didn't think anybody was gonna rhyme the whole thing, but it's a pretty funny exercise. I'll give it a go as well:

Super-cali-fragi-listic-expi-ali-docious:
Dude he has a badly stinking case of halitosis.
You can ask how parasitic selling grams of coke is.
Buddha hasn't had a gimmick test to match his onus.
Wuhan panic had statistics make us antidotes quick.
Cougars have this masochistic trait to pass out choking.
Humans having laughs, they swim in lakes in Patagonia.
The Dukes of Hazzard action flick is ageing as an oak is.
The true Castanza, Larry David, ain't the cat you joke with.
Cube he had his adolescence late. He's mad precocious.
A tupilak is fragile if you eggheads havn't noticed.
Fools they had this savage wit in ancient latin cultures.
Stupid savage Calvinistic henchman carried tortures.
Luke he jacked a Harrier on Dagobah with Yoda.
Mook and Math is battling and Pen he has convulsions.
Snoop is lacking talent in his NFL promotions.
Superman is mad he isn't Lex with matics loaded.
I'm smooth, I'll have the baddest bitch in bed with Cassanova.
Newer jacks they have a jist but Shaman's having omens.


Next rhyme: Universal fit.

[TheShaman]

This Hooters girl has tits, so must be a universal fit with this super girthy dick.
Her ass is huge but firm to grip and she's nude and twerking it.
And I'm chewing on her clit with a subtle serpent's lisp.
So when I'm doing her in bed that pussy's squirting wet.
And I'm sure it hurts a bit like the woman's birthing kids.
Cuz when dude's inserting it she feels the beauty of the tip of Cupids curly head.
But my troops of sperm ain't ready for this newly fertil egg.
So I choose to put the pecker on her uvula instead.
And when she's finished with the popsicle she's drooling on the stick.
So now the kid is taking off on a supersonic jet.

Next rhyme: Gotta catch em all.

[H Dot Verseman]

yo Shaman- dope drops guy. You should join the battle league/tournament

[Chree]

Next rhyme: Gotta catch em all.

Gotta sketchy draw let the methods pause bite your melon off gotta lotta repertoire.
Old school bars drafts like the renascence benevolent coming from the heavens like the devil and god.
No drop always going up overflowing thoughts never knowing less.
Probably find me into tomorrow.

[TheShaman]

Hey H, thanks, appreciate it. I joined the Ransom thing as far as I know. I might join other things too, but I also just like the cypher format. Drop some bars, we need more peeps in here!

Next rhyme: Chree holding it down.

[Bag Mandela]

Chree holding it down
like his wee boner around preteens rollin in crowds,
a pedo in a drought,
Je suis so kidding now,
I mean joking about,
I feel mostly in doubt that he's wholly aroused how freak popes are renowned,
Not each gown is a robe, but each robe is a gown,
Big up the gardeners, seed growings profound,
I can barely thread a needle, I'm beat sewing the ground,
Fuck it, gun bar, I killed a tourist, heat loaded n bow,
He looked lost, thought I could at the very least show him around

Next rhyme: Sleep deprivation

[Chree]

Chree holding it down
like his wee boner around preteens rollin in crowds,
a pedo in a drought,
Je suis so kidding now,
I mean joking about,
I feel mostly in doubt that he's wholly aroused how freak popes are renowned,
Not each gown is a robe, but each robe is a gown,
Big up the gardeners, seed growings profound,
I can barely thread a needle, I'm beat sewing the ground,
Fuck it, gun bar, I killed a tourist, heat loaded n bow,
He looked lost, thought I could at the very least show him around

Next rhyme: Sleep deprivation

Bags buys vote with a weak presentation.


(next time get votes from people who arent in ur text crew) <3

CypherAlumni

Vincent | Sammy | Vallus | Dose Blotter | Onceawhile | Virbius | Bag Mandela | Celph Taut

[Bag Mandela]

I'll assume the next rhyme is cypher alumni,
I'm not the type to be struck by whether they vibe with a punchline,
I expect to lose, a Yorkshire accent causes kind of a tough time,
Plus the people voting aren't always wise as ya would like,
I beat but lost to Spree in FL & writing above heights their minds understood's why,
Spree-a-point-it-I'm was maniacal thus I knew if I hadn't won I'd been on a miles-above hype, likely a good sign,
Back to the cypher alumni - you know that's just Celph listing his favourite rhymers for fun right?
N since only Virb from that list decided I'd won why would you think we'd conspired as a club like text battle wins are reliant on good ties?
If you joined ransom writers ya would find where you're really at cos of the guys that it's judged by having mensa-level logic being unbiased so just try,
Got to end on a lighter note, that was tiring, umm like,
I let my son play Tiger Woods, he died but gave the tiger a good fight

Next Rhyme: Salamander