Refocused

[Endeva.]

just a quick drop dipping my toe back in...



Back fighting, enlightened, still wording n typing...
Writing with a heightened emotion I'm finding
Coping with life is Defining, and so I've been climbing...
...all by myself, the winding steps back up from Hell
Reappearing from the depths of an Old Stone Well...
...Where coins usually fell on empty wishes
and just like many wrists did, shit yea I flipped it...
The best of British, out its Northern Districts
Roaring vicious, no more stalling, in stagnant waters...
'can all be called explorers, just keep turning corners
It's only a 'term', just learn the format,
The more you fall flat the taller your walls stack...
Pretty soon you'll fend off all that stand and attack
With a brand hatched from the pain and collapse
so now...
'Got my brain back on track, just need the legs to match
Not much chance of that, but the future's fast...
...Perhaps!!!



http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?490577-Roses
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...-Domestic-Lies
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?490580-I-Am

[SELF ACTIVATE]

Back fighting, enlightened, still wording n typing...
Writing with a heightened emotion I'm finding
Coping with life is Defining, and so I've been climbing...
...all by myself, the winding steps back up from Hell
Reappearing from the depths of an Old Stone Well...

^Ahhh...So that's were you've been...Hell. I hear it gets pretty humid around this time of year. Anyway, I dug the imagery. The "stone well" part was really vivid. Reminds me of Pan's Labyrinth for some reason. Everything else was more or less about you rnew found desire to write again. And as usual you packed each line full of crisp rhymes and melodic flow. Superb wording as well.

...Where coins usually fell on empty wishes
and just like many wrists did, shit yea I flipped it...
The best of British, out its Northern Districts
Roaring vicious, no more stalling, in stagnant waters...
'can all be called explorers, just keep turning corners
It's only a 'term', just learn the format,
The more you fall flat the taller your walls stack...
Pretty soon you'll fend off all that stand and attack
With a brand hatched from the pain and collapse

I like the interwoven schemes. The message isn't all that clear, but the poetical language leaves room for personal interpetation. Nothing majority stood out here, but as a whole it was well written.

so now...
'Got my brain back on track, just need the legs to match
Not much chance of that, but the future's fast...
...Perhaps!!!

Clever spit. I like how it ended.

Overall: it was short and sweet. Top tier rhyming ability on full display with enough substance to suffice. I enjoyed it Dev. Nice "comeback" piece.


Peace...

[Emily]

Back fighting, enlightened, still wording n typing... I find, that if the first line takes over me, I'm normally into the whole piece. I think this first line is great. I mean, check out the beat in those words. The beat is loud and clear, that's a good intro Dev.
Writing with a heightened emotion I'm finding And again here, no filler but substance, following the lead from the previous line. With every line you're putting more imagery into your piece and that's cool because we don't have to wait for ages before we get a gist of what it is you're on about. Good stuff.
Coping with life is Defining, and so I've been climbing...
...all by myself, the winding steps back up from Hell
Reappearing from the depths of an Old Stone Well...I like the flip of rhyme here in these lines. The internals are stunning. I love a piece full of rhyme and that's what's happening here. Also, like I said before, every line has great description so that's adding to a short piece, by really giving off the imagery of a huge, jam packed one.
...Where coins usually fell on empty wishes
and just like many wrists did, shit yea I flipped it...I like the metaphore here. And the coin/well descriptions/imagery.
The best of British, out its Northern DistrictsSomething about when someone writes about their location that I like. I think it brings me back down to earth but the poetic nature still plays its part, so that mix, I find interesting.
Roaring vicious, no more stalling, in stagnant waters...
'can all be called explorers, just keep turning corners It's cool how you 'show us' how you're going about coming back into writing. I like that you talk about how to deal with the struggle of it.
It's only a 'term', just learn the format,
The more you fall flat the taller your walls stack...I think this, and the line before it, are my favourite. I love the natural nature in which they fall. So easy, simple yet classy.
Pretty soon you'll fend off all that stand and attack
With a brand hatched from the pain and collapselol. So true. That's good.
so now...
'Got my brain back on track, just need the legs to match That's clever. This is the bit that stuck with me when I read this last night lol. Good line Dev.
Not much chance of that, but the future's fast...
...Perhaps!!!I like the outro, but the only bit that didn't take my fancy is the word, 'perhaps'. Reason being, you've spent so much time convincing me that you've got it all under control, and then you end with a word that's just not decisive enough for my sensibilities. Perhaps means maybe. And there's no way you're maybe coming back, you're here, set in stone, you aren't going anywhere but higher. So yeah, that's my take on that particular word in that particular place.

Dev, all in all, this was really good. The flow was hot, the rhymes were sweet, the msg was cool, talked to all of us. I think we all, well, most of us can connect with what you've written here. You've never lost it. What's to get back? So good to have you here again. Always melodical reading your written work.
Good stuff Dev.

Keep bringing it.
Cool short little read.

[Endeva.]

thanks Emily, your descriptions pretty much hit the nail on the head...

...thanks for such a broken down bit'a input, ur a star

[Nohbody]

Back fighting, enlightened, still wording n typing...
Writing with a heightened emotion I'm finding
Coping with life is Defining, and so I've been climbing...

nice intro, love the rapid fire multis

...all by myself, the winding steps back up from Hell
Reappearing from the depths of an Old Stone Well...
...Where coins usually fell on empty wishes
and just like many wrists did, shit yea I flipped it...

haha i felt the same way coming back to the site after a long layoff. That familiar process of shaking off the cobbwebs and dust haha

The best of British, out its Northern Districts
Roaring vicious, no more stalling, in stagnant waters...
'can all be called explorers, just keep turning corners
It's only a 'term', just learn the format,
The more you fall flat the taller your walls stack...
Pretty soon you'll fend off all that stand and attack
With a brand hatched from the pain and collapse
so now...
'Got my brain back on track, just need the legs to match
Not much chance of that, but the future's fast...
...Perhaps!!!

nice man. . this is short drop, but striving to reinvigorate my desires to write again. . its shit like this that motivates. Good drop fam

[KnowP]

Yooo!! This was cold bro. I liked how you ended with "perhaps" as to say you're refocused, but to the best of your knowledge. Pretty nice way to finish off this piece. Riddle with smooth transitions and rhyme schemes, I really enjoyed the content to you chose to use as well. You painted the picture nice man. Good read. Keep dropping that hot flava!

[Endeva.]

you got the vibe bro...

[Syk0naut]

I'm guessing this was a piece meant to ease you back into form, and it doesn't look like you have far to go. This was really nice, I liked several of the metaphors such a the broken wishing well, among others. The rhyme scheme was rather basic, and I don't mean that in a bad way at all, there just wasn't a concentration on multies, but you didn't need them. The internal rhymes did help the flow along quite nicely. I wouldn't say it was revolutionary in message, but it was refreshing none the less. I think the people before me pointed out most of the ups and the sparse downs. I just wanted to let you know I read it, enjoyed it, and look forward to more from you.

[thatdudeB]

Good shit. Quick verse. Which didn't hurt it. Wish it was longer myself, but didn't really matter.. I take it you wrote this fast. But every line was well written. The vocab was good but simple. nice rhymes