My new rap

[MC Ghosty]

I'm MC Ghosty I'm fucking worse than serial killer
Not one you cunts in my trailer park is fucking iller
Yes this is my fucking nightmare world it's a thriller
I'm so sick of you couldn't you just die Steven Miller
I will be slashing you faster than killer Michael Myers
You people are nothing but you are horrible evil liars
What's happend swapped his knife with a pair of pilers
It's what we people fucking require and we fucking desire
Myers strutting around the place your life is about to end
I just want to blend in let me mend the rap game best friend
You don't even want to recommend I'm always there to defend
You should put all the fake rappers into the wild and let em fend
You will get flatten to the floor just like Ricky "The Hitman Hatton"
I'll rob you and then beat you up leave you in streets of manhattan
Hey come police officer a little softer with the fucking police baton
Well it's not my fault the soft police officer's wife is fucking ugly latin

[JSED]

shits lame in my opinion sorry mane

[Malice]

umm blah, i would say work on some inner rhyme or multis because these lines are very very dry:

blah blah blah blah killer
blab blah blah blah Iller

it is an overly plain and simple rhyme scheme, followed by an extremely basic content, you should really try to write something wiht more depth, self hype and thuggish stuff is just way over done, id save doing that stuff for a time when youve elevated and can do it with a level of creativity that makes it unique.

my advice, pick a topic that has some depth:
Terrorism
Explain the life of someone in an abusive home
Dealing with cancer

no in adding to this try to make sure you are going for a more complex rhyme scheme, if you need to see what something like that might be let me know and ill post something up that illustrates a more complex one

[MC Ghosty]

Thank you for your comment could you feed my Best Friend rewrite

[Malice]

link?

[MC Ghosty]

I can't post link on the ps3 you will find it in Extreme Elevation