Perfect In Every Way (For all you ladies...Even guy's can get something out of this..

[Bounce]

“Perfect in every way,”
(An original poem dedicated to the love of my life, even after our break-up…)

Never make her cry
Never too late to try
Sealed with a kiss and sigh
Love that’ll last until I die
Do not ask me why
Do not want to hear goodbye
Things I did, O’why O’why
Love no lie, never make her cry

Harsh words I did say
Back in my younger day
Anger and frustration’s not the way
For your love, I now pray
By myself, I now stay
A lesson learned, the hardest way
A good man molded, just like clay
Love no lie, alone today

Emptiness inside my heart
I wish I knew, from the start
I Feel so dumb, yet so smart
Many mistakes made on my part
Inflicted sorrow, into her heart
Pain immeasurable with a chart
Kisses went from sweet to tart
Love no lie, see my broken heart

My woman, my child here no more
My life, my heart, now lay on the floor
In two, our life I tore
These feelings I can not ignore
You’re the women I do adore
Today in me there is no roar
Ever since you walked out that door
Love no lie, for rich or poor


Out of me a man you made
For yours, my life I’ll trade
My words once cut like a blade
Your heart now damaged and frayed
I did not know then, what I displayed
For your love on my knees I prayed
A thousand demons, internal I have slayed
Love no lie, a man you’ve made

Bless you on this very day
Right besides you, I yearn to lay
Remember the promise I made that day
To forever love and forever stay
To always guide you along your way
To protect and comfort day to day
I am forever sorry for my actions and old ways
Love no lie, hold the one you love today

Woman you are perfect in every way
So soft and sweet each and every day
Strong and proud each step you sway
I believed in you way back in the day
Some may find it hard to say
But Sweetness you are perfect in each and every way
Honey only you, can brighten up my day
Love no lie, Women' I promise I have changed my ways

Love no lie, woman you are perfect in every way!

[Ajax 0042]

bounce im lovin ur work, nmice flow can clearly catch the point nice complexity, overall damn good drop

[Varentao]

You know, like your last piece, this had a real ease to it. A simplicity that held the depth of your emotions, and what you were portraying overall. You went quite a bit inside yourself, without going TOO inside yourself. Which wouldn't have been good for the way this piece was written.

The rhyme scene a bit rigid? Gah, being picky. It was part of the piece.

These kinds of pieces are hard to critique. The simplicity is not all plain, and helps adhere the piece to the reader.

Okay, i'll say this. It felt a bit over-elaborate once or twice. So in a way, you did go slightly too inside yourself (well your feelings and thoughts). But only slightly. And it's a picky criticism. Especially for this type of piece.

...resp...

[KeMy$t]

Very good. Like i've said before u've got mad talent. Ur work is awesome. Keep writin man serious.

[Content]

~ Breakdown Of Content...Make Me A Moderator Comitte~

This Was A Wonderful Display Of Your
LyricAL Abilities On A Topic That Most
Seem To Make Less Attracting / Enitcing
To / For The Reader...Somewhat Like A
"Wish You Could See Me Now" Piece

If I Didnt Hit It Right On The Head I
Dont Know What Else To Consider It
Besides A Nice Drop From You Once Again

Peace

[DaGyrlRemarqabL]

I LOVED this.
This was so sweet and lovely, far more than a "roses are red" type of deal. Really original concept, rhyme scheme was a bit simple at times, but the overall content made up for it.
My 2 favorite parts were:

>Harsh words I did say
Back in my younger day
Anger and frustration’s not the way
For your love, I now pray
By myself, I now stay
A lesson learned, the hardest way
A good man molded, just like clay
Love no lie, alone today

and

>Bless you on this very day
Right besides you, I yearn to lay
Remember the promise I made that day
To forever love and forever stay
To always guide you along your way
To protect and comfort day to day
I am forever sorry for my actions and old ways
Love no lie, hold the one you love today

I really enjoyed reading this.
Stay up and keep elevating.
Pz.

[Calisto]

This was a beautiful peice and I kinda felt like the simplicty served it well... "I feel so dumb, yet so smart" That was my favorite line... makes me think of "If I knew then what I know now" and this was a very personal peice. I liked it, the flow was very calming and even for the most part. And it did kinda seem like a bit of a lyrical peice to me... I liked the progression, and the depiction, pretty much of a story line, lovin how you filled the reader in. And the last line to each stanza was a wonderful contribution to tying it all together. Sorry for ya pain hun, but it sure does make for some amazing poetry... peace

[Bounce]

I would like to thank everyone for thier comments, I really appreciate your time and critiques. I will use everyone's input in my pursuit of elevation, you all will be reflected in my post to come. I learn so much from each of you, your responses will forever be a part of my work... Thank you all, I wish everyone the best when it comes to thier life and work. Let's keep up the great reply's...

A special thank you goes out to Thunda for her commenting on my pain, that was such a sweet and genuine thing to do. Your such a sweetheart, stay buetiful inside and out, and never change for no one. God Bless

[BADASSBITCH4LIFE]

sorry to hear bout ur ol lady anyways keep droppin them
~Pz

[Dirtysouthchick]

I love this piece... maybe you could teach my man a couple of thangs *lol* your piece is everything that I needes during the time I wrote Life Story( for My daughter Ayana) lines like your are hard to come around keep it up
Much luv

[Bounce]

Thank you sweetie, I am looking forward to reading that drop. I will try to get around to it this afternoon sometime. That's a beautiful name "AYANA", be a strong mother for your child, she needs you. Well you have my respect and admiration, through your honesty. Kepp it real..

Much love,
God Bless