Naw I Kept Everythign Simple And Original How It Happened I Don't Re-Word It To Make It Sound Doper, No Matter How You Word It It'll Come out The Same Way So Chep
Naw I Kept Everythign Simple And Original How It Happened I Don't Re-Word It To Make It Sound Doper, No Matter How You Word It It'll Come out The Same Way So Chep
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this was some real deep stuff, i was liking it. the vocabulary was great, and the structure made it alot easier to read and understand. The rhyming was something that needs to be worked on, as it as weak in some areas. it was a nice verse, great drop, good job and keep at it...
Chea Man......
.................................
I really like this peice i can relate to ya brother bitching in ya face but anyway...
I like how u painted a pic in mah head of ya home wit ya kid
cuz i kno it's hard.....and how ya gurl dosen't understand ya music....
I like this cuz this is real...keep up tha good work im about to read chapter 2 now....lol
Lols Dope Man Thanks I Appreciate It Alot
Can I Up This????? Cause Some One Said I Can't I Don;t Know Though
damn this piece was 9/10 dope!it had excellent imagery, great flow and vocab, with a familiar subject.
"Up Late Writing, When She Asks, I'm Mixing My Lies
My Excuse Twisting The Truth I'm Still Fixing My Ties
If Rap Was Raising A Kid, It Won't Be Worth My While
So It's Time For Me To Start Working With My Child"
^^those we're my favorite lines but..
"I'm Passing Opportunities Like Crazy And I Can't See
And I Know If I Make A Mistake I'll Be Out Camping"
^^didn't quite understand those lines, but it didn't really effect your piece of work, nice job keep elevating, i'ma read chapter 2 now
Gud shit dawg...
Flow was off tha chain, gud emotion, sum nice vocab...
I'd say increase wordplay, although you had sum gud metas add in sum multis and similies...Also ur rhyme scheme was fairly simple although it rhymed fine...
Nice piece man, very solid and consistent...7.5/10
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