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Thread: 10 Bars-Wires

  1. #1
    yay is for horses Kaos Theory's Avatar
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    10 Bars-Wires

    Intertwining wires herd through words and emerge right next to me
    Moving westwardly in thirds.. rhyming inert verbs to surge in threes
    Electricity sparks in high marks and goes down deeply like dive sharks
    With steeply placed casings which feed off outlets or otherwise starve
    Carving ingraved using tactics that cause an uprise like its hair static
    Winding wisdom with wires into puzzles which creates lines enigmatic
    Practice efficently when mind's right through chords connecting cables
    While I discontinue burnt out bulbs that were nothing more than playable
    Flowing currents stabling volts into time which haults into lightyear bolts
    Speeding with tha torque of countless colts.. making this life image fold
    Holding any charge at all.. with atoms clashing together then light spreads
    But merely abandoned lines.. mostly fall after time.. killing any hopes dead
    Seeing how things work under brought upon situations.. or even just tests
    Seeping through crests.. drying flat.. but naturally seems all but pressed
    Kanye west knows best.. but different kind of expression.. and impression
    Different message.. tha rock fell and now he wears a chain of acceptance
    Soon enough it clumps in mounds.. and chords circle around in clouds
    From tha ground up.. holding any power extremely live yet in ways is aloud
    Where tha modem is tha sire.. traveling through grooves or treaded tires
    A virtual world.. building an empire.. connections made from internet wires

    ...keyed
    "I'm sorry, we've never met.. my name is driftwood. Thanks friend.. good lookin', I'll never see you again.." -Aesop Rock


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  2. #2
    literally fck ur own face Wise Ways's Avatar
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    I liked It......lol

  3. #3
    BEST topical writer... Endeva.'s Avatar
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    quite an original topic.... ya used some nice voacb and a good amount of syllables for a good flow, but in places it fell, and some of the rhyme transition could be smoother.... but some nice wordplay and worded well.......
    [youtube]99ns8n2S40g[/youtube]

  4. #4
    Ill-Fresh
    Guest
    yea...
    you cant reallyy put it much better than how ^he^ said it...

    nice key man...

  5. #5
    yay is for horses Kaos Theory's Avatar
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    Thanks everybody.... anymore feedback??
    "I'm sorry, we've never met.. my name is driftwood. Thanks friend.. good lookin', I'll never see you again.." -Aesop Rock


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  6. #6
    Mean_Rapper
    Guest
    dude. ur long messages dont impress me .. but know what will. seeing u beat me because that will show that u dont type gibberish whenever u speak .. or suck dick ..

  7. #7
    Newbie
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    u AINT GOT NOTHIN ON ME man
    if u think u do battle me

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    U got somethin let me her somethin
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