Cold Winter Storm

[LadyWun]

[size=large][color=royal blue]Sometimes I sit and ponder this,
One fist opens to a hand which grabs
a hand and together we can...
Hold tight against the cold winter storm,
torn from one household and another...
Whose brother lead us here?
Whose mother shead those tears,
that brought use here.
Was it that fear of dieing so near to joy...
a toy.. was the last image in
my mind, that day of Christmas time...
Sublime I thought that day to be,
But only me, was I so wrong...
Couldn't I have been strong,
standing tall against those cold winds,
freezing my cheekd, my lips, and chin...
Is this the end, starting the day
I was born, or is it just another,
cold winter storm[/size][/color]

[Content]

Lady Wun..thank you for being one of the few
that followed the rules and replies to others in
this forum befor posting your own...thats
appreciated by the mods and the people
who post in here..now for your poem here....

I got many different vibes from reading this and
if im right and if this was purposely done it was
done well Lady Wun

crossing paths with someone that you really connect with*
rambling about your motivation or reason that your here*
and then somewhat..paying respects to those there for you*

I think thats what you were writing/mixing together...
if im wrong I appologize...poetry gives many different
meanings which is the wonderful thing about it
and I thougt this was a short decent first piece...

la paz

[Tourniquet]

This is a great piece LadyWun, I love the double line rhyme, really kept the flow going. I may be totally off base here as I sense the intimacy of the piece, but I couldnt help but get a Hansel and Gretel feel out of it. Not to say its like a nursery rhyme, but more about the bond of siblings against 'the World' as it may.. I have a sneaky impression that I get this vibe only because I once wrote a somewhat adult take off on the Hansel and Gretel rhyme, and some of the lines in this are so similar to mine.

Most likely, thats whats influencing my train of thought
I feel like toward the end of the poem you are confronting your own fear of having let someone down.. Gave me the feeling of this being a very personal piece.

All in all LadyWun, a really nice read...great imagery and flow.. Thanks. Kudos~

[Mistral]

Yeah i agree this was a pretty good piece, i was feeling the meanin go this as i read through it, i like the way you structured it, it was real good, overall i thought this was a good piece, it was written real good, keep up the good work.

[Twiztid_chick69]

This was a real nice piece. I liked the flow..Really good drop..and I noticed your new here..so welcome to R&B lol...keep postin'

peAce

[LadyWun]

I have been coming to RB on and off for 3 years .... lol
But I haven't been back in quite a while, thank you very
much for all the compliments.
Content you had it coming close but tourniquet had it
right on the mark.

[Varentao]

Intriguing. Intriguing in the sense that you seemed to mix the simple with the slightly more complex. I dunno, like it was there to be dug into but with a simple 'cover'.

The ending was very well executed. Beautiful even.

...resp...

[Prince Escobar]

Originally posted by Content
Lady Wun..thank you for being one of the few
that followed the rules and replies to others in
this forum befor posting your own...thats
appreciated by the mods and the people
who post in here..now for your poem here....

...blah blah blah...

la paz

actually if u check the rules thread it says that u just have to have one post a day, u dont have to reply a certain amount, but i dont blame u for being misinformed...The piece was good, simple but it hit well and it was easy to understand, a good drop overall, 1luv.

[LadyWun]

Thank you all very much. I just like to read others poems and
help them. In all the years I have been writing I have met some
cool people and they all gave advice that counted to me.