A Disciple's Thread

[A Disciple]

I’m playing now and you fucked bitch

Keep it Real



I get it… they all say they have kids before they do it
Bitchhhhh then come run thru it
Nah that ain’t me, it’s why I loaded the gun
Why I don’t judge because I don’t want to become
Why I never have to run
I pray everyday
And I fight for what’s right
The young, innocent, and naive
If you see so many in lights (the word in movie banner lights)
I didn’t do no sick shit but wanted to hear what they had to say
And like they think it gave them right to torture me so that’s what’s up and why I’ll now play
Any mother fucking any fucking day
And I can’t forgive that shit either
Nah I can’t believe that you even believed her
I’m done, I’ll never date again
And I’ll never take you back as a friend
This shit gonna END!!!
They have no rite to keep me
I stood for what was coming to be free Got my ass beat daily
Bye!!! Get your spirits out my body
Cause this shit ain’t even fucking funny
And nah I don’t even have fucking money
So like… what really you do it for
Every last one traded me for some type of lying ass whore
Don’t come back knocking
It was the wrong bitch you were clocking
And they prolly not stopping
So… just so you know
You sided with them and the illusions they show
So who the traitor
And who care what who know
I have no secrets except what they doing and did to me below
So… go ahead and debate her
Cause I ain’t ever been a hater
But fuck every last one of them
If it was me I wouldve asked point blank right there and then
Judge me NOW
Cause I’m trying to figure out how
And nah they were doing it to ME
So who accused WHO… Reeper lets see
Cause I just want to be free
It really wasn’t me
Why the little girl is handing him flowers?
Cause I was 16 the first time I saw him
And he come to say hi at all different hours
And he skipped me again and again
Looks like again he my only best friend
And like… I never did shit in sin
And didn’t sell my soul to win
I put the word In lights but I was playing with fire
It was for Ruby not Desire
2 bitches up for hire
Prolly my baby dad setting you up
But cool that’s what’s up
And I hate to sound so mean
But you didn’t even give a fuck cause you KNOW what you seen
And STILL wouldn’t help or intervene
2 more days im back in AA clean
This is the worst the curse hurts
But maybe they can prove it in green

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They were doing it prior… chilly gave bj this look and I knew something was up so when they came calling and I lost my god I wanted to hear what they had to say

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That was prior but the ghost being too young is why I didn’t do that… so like I know someone know and recognize me

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I get and have no secrets so really why was anyone accused

And you took the side of the man who did 3x

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Confused*

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I was trying to get you off and put him on but now I guess you proved me wrong

FUCK YOU TOO

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He stole my money to get a hotel with her… ain’t no coming back from that - keep it too

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Fat boy taught him how and I still blame him

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How is anybody confused?

[A Disciple]

I feel like my aunt now the psch that’s not allowed by law to work on family members

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Why.i only want a drink and squirm on Sunday after they closed?

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It doesn’t have to be or be hard to quit like that so why is it?

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He really played me like I had to break up with him when he still lying and pretending to love me… but now he acting like I’m sweating him. I just wanted to know what went wrong

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He didn’t have to do that… he should’ve just broke up with me

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Now it’s to a point beyond return and it hurts cause I knew he was family

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I am trying to send a link and my phone won’t let me

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Why do they refuse to stop fucking with my head though

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I loathe control freaks…

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LoL!!!!!!

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https://youtube.com/shorts/mshZT4mBL...xz6uQs12jMwFhU

They’re irritating me on purpose and can’t comprehend no… that’s not me and he need to just FINALLY not Allah the prick that wants me mentallly sick

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I believe in both and even my gma made lamb that Easter but… nah I’ll stay single - why rap game worse?

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I don’t like Kevin at allllllllll he wants me sick ands confused!!!

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I’m not living that life for no one especially if I don’t have to

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Even my brother started eating meat again LMFAO Nico HELLLLL NO NOT HIM

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It’s disrespectful to demand my body or that I share it with you when I saw no

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I think I know why she won’t go

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I’m not that stupid or pathetic either if I called Ma for help

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Hats what I’m trying to tell you - it’s not us

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I did love him but then felt the spell or what ever happened… and yeah I got distant and it was uncomfortable again and I get like that when I DONT love you either anymore

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Who did that to us and why?

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I don’t believe in or respect or respond to abuse though - so who keep trying?

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Idky why… guess I’m used to respect instead of love… but not a sob story - I’m ok

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She belong to the game not me though

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The more I pulled the love card… the worse it got

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Or the more I trusted him

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I feel like I’m being kicked out… LoL but that’s fine I realize but you ain’t kicking me to the wrong person again

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I don’t even have $4 uncle short… and nah it’s all good I’m not really happy with arranged I want and wanted real

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But now I just want to still feel

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Maybe I realized what was real
But changing fate isn’t part of my deal

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It’s not that you would steal
It’s you will steel

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And spend it on the next bitch
Man, that’s worse than being a snitch

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I’m not taking the one with ditch
The concert, 3 some, or death finally being my wish

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Hurt…

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I want to be alone again

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I’ve been living my worst nightmare too long

[A Disciple]

https://biblia.com/bible/esv/revelation/2/2

I thought it was god himself… but nope…. Just some evil twisted bitches.

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I don’t like them in my body and they don’t stop or get out - not the same tastes

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Involved with a killing? That’s the only way how I could be… saw the weird shit and talked to them and I think someone might’ve died… but I only played with fire once and when the person died it was WAY years later but I did come up here to visit that weekend but wasn’t involved - they set it up to look like me

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Do you know how many times they tried to kill me too?

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My bf did say helll no he not going to bring me to who I thought was my best friends house so I think he even thought I did it too… idk ask them bitches

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I went to send back the sick shit cause I didn’t know how to make them stop or get off me and then I seen fender benders everywhere but someone came in my house and stole the wax. I know nothing of this shit other then I don’t even want to be involved and my niece has epilepsy now as result of accident and like God that’s fucked up I rather it have been me. WHO is doing this for real?

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Because he loved me and they turned him on me too… I just want to be free!!!

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They came in with the same shit but it’s beyond repair now

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I refuse to date again cause I don’t know who the sick freak is that keep doing it

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I do know the one who keep asking me and if it’s him not taking no for an answer I am going ballistic

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Or one of the psych creepers that watched me grow up from a child

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How would you feel if people kept demanding to chose your life for you (oh I’m sorry them) too!

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TAF

[A Disciple]

We see what’s up… it can’t be worse then it is and him not loving me anymore

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Maybe he saw how people use and do that to keep me away from people who try to help them

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Who try to help me*

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My phone won’t pull up “when you’re so young… she don’t love none of you guys she will make you look so lame that you want a disguise… tell uncle short where you got your game from” to listen to and post

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I keep losing my cigs and getting pissed

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Get them off my body too!

[A Disciple]

Almost made me cry… love that song

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I’m going sober… and if I can’t do it with NA I’m going to rehab… I really love him pac does he really love ms though?

[A Disciple]

Falling Apart

You haven’t answered my texts
And I’m getting stressed… because Im scared I lost you
Scared I lost true
Scared of the mirror again too
It’s the first I felt of anything in a long time
And all I know of hope is putting my feelings to rhyme
I know that wasn’t my crime
But I don’t want to be pathetic either
Which way they want me to go… I chose neither!
I made a mistake and wasn’t sure it was you
I made a mistake and didn’t know it was true
I made a mistake and will sell my soul if that what it take to get back you
My husband I heard of that’s finally here
And I can’t cry right now but my eye still dropped a tear
It was fear…
Because I promised God when my man get here - I quit cocaine too
And im mad cause I didn’t and look how it do
I hope it’s not too late cause I swear I love you
Addiction grabbed a hold of my fate
And I’m just praying that I’m not too late

In all the messes I make…
I’m scared the worst is what cames
But please… I don’t want anything fake
Or to be that blonde bimbo who’s dumb
I just got used to going numb
There really isn’t too much more to say
But trust is a battle I fight every day
Love isn’t a game that you play
I just want real…
So Lord please protect us i pray
And I hope it doesn’t hurt this much to feel
And I’m sorry… you gave me more then you take
And I’m sorry - im tired of making the same mistake
And I’m sorry - tired of not knowing who’s real or who’s fake
And I’m scares to have a heart again…
Cause I don’t want it to break
I want you to know - I’ll never do that to you
I want you to knowv- My man who was true is you
And I want you to know - It’s all fucked up… cause I know she love you too

[A Disciple]

https://www.facebook.com/reel/887833...&fs=e&s=TIeQ9V

Thanks for making me laugh… I remember how happy I was you came and brought beer. And my geeen dress that Soheila alrered

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Yo he totally sided me and that’s insensitive as fuck and if he trade me for the upgrade it isn’t love right?

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I fucking give up to be honest

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But I’m a still be a stupid bitch and trust someone again… why?

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Do they get out of and off my body when I go sober too?

[A Disciple]

Do they get out of and off my body when I go sober too?

I’m socially awkward… his friends don’t like me either

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I decided tomorrow… but it’s like already know I can’t do it and get sober until my old friends and K leave

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And never come back… I really know that is what was making me so sick besides the brainwashing in Psych

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I’ll take gods don’t remember

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But this shit hell no… how did they know?

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Why everybody turn on me for real?

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He won’t leave me alone or take no 3x for an answer

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I’m not desperate to be married… I’m desperate to be happy and free and on my own again

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I’m just keeping it remind myself if she came in and stole my peace and comfort that easy then it must not be real

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I realized finally that we were on opposite sides… Idfk either but I miss being safe

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I really haven’t been involved with drugs or running again

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Tired of hell just want to be happy sgsin

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Someone viscous ever since I sssn you or wrote them… I just need a friend in cold again

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I’m cold again*

[A Disciple]

Horseman

I did it cause I ain’t shit
And I know people can change - legit
I have nothing to show for my life
If i can’t have kids anymore what’s the point of being a wife
When ford called me that day with the manger screaming capitol one
I made sure I’d make the payments for the chance they gave me
I made sure I got it done
I’m trying to find who I am by knowing what I’m not
And the last thing I’d ever do again is go back to being a thot
Thought l miss them a lot
And like…
I hate when I fall right into their plan
My mom cursing me out again ause I’m a child now with impulses she can’t stand
Why they get to demand when I rise or I fall
You up me down bitch we could’ve had it all
I can’t be in my family unless I’m sober
That’s how it feel
And that’s the shit that makes me ball
And some of the reason why I can’t feel
Maybe… what’s the deal?
Any bish you wan
I joke with ez
And I want justice I don’t get whole you all think it’s so easy
My life isn’t even mine no more
All because again my man chose the whore
I’m closing the door
I don’t even want this shit anymore

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My life is my worst nightmare and I’m TAF!

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Who won’t let me get on my feet and ruin my relationships every time and then tell my brother it’s me birnong it down

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I thought now that he’s out I’d be free and it’s ok… but nah he trades me too

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Why am I a failure to launch… who is doing this to me?

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I look so selfish to my mother but I’m trying to buy her, her house back and like

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My life hasn’t been right since they hurt me in 2010 - they won’t let me get back up

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I just sit here swaying like I do dope
Nope
Take this shit back to you and tell me how you cope
I pray for death a lot
And I don’t claim shit I’m not

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What did I live my life for, for real?
Cause even you all won’t give me the shot
I know what I’m not
And that’s the problem
I come out of Harlem

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I don’t want this shit
I wanted my family
When.they gonna leave me alone
Brainwashed more then a bit
I trusted manny
Just give him and Fred the thrown

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I don’t want to be all alone

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But they win every time… I’m 45 but still a child and that’s what’s so wrong

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Yo if Feds back her and not me - that’s the fuck what’s so wrong

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I heard she work with gov on ptsd… is she the one that tortured me?

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Yo my mom said I ran up $500 on my credit this week… EXACTLY… but that’s what happens when they swear they better than and demand to control me

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50… do you know who swear they own me… cause I went thru all this shit just trying to break free… and you better make sure they don’t make another mentally ill child like me

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I always used to call them as I see… but this shit change me, cause I realized never again will I be just me

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My religion I get judged at death so how am I stuck in a religion that isn’t even mine purgatory?

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I don’t want to live like them or that… I just want control of my own body

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Here we go again… he knew what’s up and he knew what they did but still won’t help save me

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My man would…‘cause I know i deserve that

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It’s fucked up that I have a taste now and can’t wait for apacolypse

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THAYS fucked up too

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But maybe then is when me and my body be free

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Why do they insist on doing this to me over and over and over again ?

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I just want it be free… I’m tired of every relationship going wrong and being humiliated

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When you gonna get the message Kev? NO NOT YOU

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Leave me alone and stop making me so sick and weak

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It didn’t have to be like this… who made it be?

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And why do they refuse to stop?

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I don’t want what you think makes it ok!!!!! Leave me and my phone alone

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They sweari want it but I don’t

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Do you know what it feels like when you already a rape victim snd they refuse to get off my body and stop

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Doing shit sick too everytime I talk to someone who can help me

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I think they trying to make me pop and go off on purpose

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I didn’t write that

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It’s way different though… why his friends think I don’t deserve it?

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It’s way different though… why his friends think I don’t deserve it?

Here we go again… stupid fucking bitch

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Is pac my baby daddy or just friends with him?

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I do want to make him proud… but I can’t unless someone make them get off and untie… as I just typed to myself fat to myself - how they even in my body?

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I’m definitely for team fat girl… just in my original body… I noticed it started to get fucked up the first time I slept with him and I want it back

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Nah I don’t think anyone on this earth can comprehend how all this betrayal feel

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Who I ever betray?

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I can’t break free and be on my own again why?

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Every time I try I go crazy

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Honestly… I think they trying to study us and that’s fucked up

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They’re not going to stop until they get the answer they want… I’ll NEVER give that to them

[Midwest]

Wow. And wow..
And Ol girl emptying her soul and Lennox just trying to smash. Lmao wtf did I just click on

[A Disciple]

All these new songs in my library that I can’t stand… someone get that twisted freak away from me!!! wtf is wrong with them?

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Honestly… i rather just blast myself then to be with you or him

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We’re not compatible you irritate me… GO AWAY

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Alone again and how much you want to bet it’s YOUR fault

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Which ever old twisted freak that you are… Dream? Everyone a fucking nightmare!!!!! I just want to be normal again with this spirit infection and confusion on demand out of me

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You all went WAY too far for real… not the site… the ones derailing me and my life and trying to make decisions for me

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You got money, you got power, but really that shit don’t even phase me… I want to be happy and salvage what ever is left of the life that you were allowed to ruin

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Did they brain wash the gang rape out of me or did my mind really block it cause I heard the freak crying cause I went to you

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That was 14yrs ago maggot… are you really that obsessed and why?

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When have I EVER chose you or your side?

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Probably only when they literally take my free will

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Why all my white tees were gone… you turned my life into a stupid and pathetic joke that was so serious to me… it ruined my entire life and I can never get that back

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What you trying to make it so I never get out my mom’s house unless it’s with you? I swear to god I will murder you for this

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Don’t ever come to my eye cause lord I probably can’t help it

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I probably won’t write for a couple of days… I’m going to NA and when I’m sober I don’t usually air out

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Ima. Stupid and dumb dilly bitch that doesn’t notice anything and forgets a lot

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Nah you don’t know or care what it does to me or my brain especially when they tell you the worst shit

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You have NO right to do this to me I’m a person… with brain damage now

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Because you refuse to stop

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And told anybody who would listen how to too

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FUCK EVERY LAST ONE OF YOU

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Showed*

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You didn’t think this would happen? And then you torture me in ct ny nj and nc - I bet praying that I kill my self for you too

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They’re above the law.. that’s your rico and idfk or care either

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I wish I knew… no clue

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What did you lie to my bf about that he doesn’t love me anymore either?

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Sometimes death isn’t always the worst option… do it I can care less

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They refuse to take no for an answer and get off me and my body

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Who made my life their game?

[A Disciple]

Why everytime I feel safe do you come in again?

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Who gave you my free wjll for real?

[A Disciple]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...ciple-s-Thread

Just the first too cause I know I ramble and spaz a lot

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It sliced and it hurts but I’m going to get thru this

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@Toobs yay welcome back!!!! They won’t let me post or talk anywhere but here lmfao

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I relapsed already but it was the only way to get myself out of bed… idk how long I’ve been dead just sleeping… I think like 4 days now and it scared me…

[A Disciple]

[A Disciple]

Dear Grandma

Dear GMA, it’s not even been 24 hours and I miss you a lot…
Right now I don’t know who I am but I know who I’m not
I just did the tip toe pacing and my mind is racing
All the time he was facing on top of
all the time they’ were erasing…
It’s like they trying to make me snap
Mad cause it’s real… and all I listen to is rap
Yeah gma, I agree it was my old friends too
I just don’t want to disappoint or disrespect my family either and idk what to do
Tonight I got dissed and dismissed
And It sliced and it hurt
So bad I put out a Purple Heart alert…
Just these day I don’t know my worth
But I know My father is the creator of heaven and earth
(Then I sent them to space)
Why is Allah so kind? He seems to always help set my pace
And why was Arabic my first trace
I keep my promises to you and my religion too
But… I just really don’t know what to do
I was screaming no nun to pac too!
Always knew it was an option because of God I met thru you
Family is what I wanted and a love that was true
I feel you when you feel like God don’t want you back anyways
And I’d get mad at the angels that always sit with me on rainy days
And that’s what I can’t stand
They won’t help but they’ll watch me cry and hold my hand
If TGF was oh boy and got back up when I sewed my first cookie doll
Gma - then we running thru
And wed be free to take it all
But they refuse to let me back up
And to be honest…
Really… I just want to know what’s up
And the strangers after me that fall
We all links in a fence but someone’s order too tall
The only person that should’ve known I was holding out for a love that was true
Like you… was you
Memories of the stories you’d tell me of love too
I don’t want to live this life gma
I’m so sick of all the drama
Just burned my finger again, physical abuse will make me go get a shotty
That may think that’s what I’m into but nah that’s just not me
Gma what if I’m unhappy cause he’s not here and never going to be
And why no one can handle my weird or admit when they see like I see
Some freak keeps making me sick and it isn’t comfort thru the fears
So I hold on to the one that knows what it feels like when you just can’t shed no more tears
And I know it wasn’t him cause yes, he was locked up for years
I know I can’t love him if I don’t trust him
But mostly I do
And it’s not that word he said
It just cause on him is where I want to lay dead
I chose peace and comfort instead
I survived led, and they still won’t tell me what’s been said
This can’t be fixed with meds
But I’ll never retire from walking dead
So I’m a make sure they free the slaves instead
I left NY so quick cause it was happening again
But I still stick to my 10
It just feel like there is no end
Safe… no… safe no … safe no
All these years later and I was just reminded that I’m not safe now or never again
And fuck what you heard I do know how to be and was a good friend
Gma they won’t let me be me no more
And always trade me in for some type of whore
I just don’t want to play games no more
Cause my heart so heavy it’s literally soar
Why you gave the angel back to me?
What is wrong and why
And I always knew the echelon come again when you die
So the prayer to save your life all these years was mine
Cause im scared and im front line…
And no gma I can’t sleep with someone I’m not attracted to
I want a love that’s true… but
I want to be sane too
And you know I’m not in it for fame
But people’s lives - definitely not someone’s game
And definitely not the same
Not one person on this earth better than someone else
We all built different
Yet I’m the one stuck in mental health
Wealth? I prefer it be my own
So no body can tell me what I can or can’t spend my money on like I’m not fucking grown
A partner is not some asset that you own
Grandma please ask God why he won’t make them leave me alone
And ask them bitches why 20 years later they still ain’t fucking grown
Gma… I just want to toast to the day
Be happy again and keep them bitches out my way
But it feels like nobody hears what I say
And nah Gma… they can’t force me to play
It’s all good… I’m not the best again anyway