Mind Over Matter, Soul Over Mind? (Feat. Black)

**Essen** · December 26th, 2010, 01:14 AM

A prophet.. and his partner await the unborn offspring
The fate of their child lies with god and four soft wings,
He appears with two angels, with grim and stoic stares
The future parents greet him, with dim yet heroic care
A soft whisper sets the tone of the ultimatum
In unison, the two begin describing verbatim
How the son will be born with a normal body and figure
Formal qualities n hormones when it’s time to be bigger
But now deliver the quiver, a daunting inconsistency
The haunting choice to be made that guarantees insufficiency.
A mind and soul, the son will live without one
And the parents of the son will determine the outcome,
One angel holds the soul, the other caresses the mind’s voice
Both will try to convince them to side with the ‘right’ choice,
The soul angel is up first and begins her speech
As fate’s handle of this growing fetus is in reach..

Nowhere can man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than in his own soul. ~Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

Soul.

Ever since the days of Socrates, ‘Sotle and Plato
Maimodedies the start, of these devilish halos
The fetish of finding freedom embellished with logic,
Entropic settlements of immortality found in Phaedo.
The topic of the soul is Philosophy’s mosh pit
Ideas are told, clashed, and toppled with topics
As dualists duel monists, questioning logic.
Reckoning that the pious spirit’s an object.
So for this purpose, try and surface a body with no soul,
Where virtue’s compass leads to alleys with deep holes
Valleys that keep goals of limiting what’s righteous
A life without morals, or feeling a sprite lift
Your extremist desires out of the meanest of fires
To have ability to see behind the seams and the wires
Where reason triumphs treason, to deem and desire
The stream of consciousness waves, screams at liars,
For your soul treasures your life’s simplest of pleasures
Then it thickens the measures, combines the sickest endeavors,
In order to experience the true meaning of pain taking flight,
As your sores soar and metamorphosize into delight
Let it chauffer your body’s engine till your young one becomes old
Because, as Plato said it best
“What is it that, when present in a body, makes it living? — A soul.”

The first angel flies back and embraces god’s shoulder
Exhausted and weeping over her incredible trance
The second angel now appears to the puddle tears of the elders
She closes her eyes and asserts her stance.

“I know but one freedom and that is the freedom of the mind.”
~Antoine de Saint – Exupéry

the birth of desire - intangible halo, a circle of fire
that truly can't be contained within our circuits & wires -
god-body energy, a sudden urge to inspire,
ontological force not possible in churches or choirs ..
where the love for a culture leads to urban attire -
and social anxiety meets murder for hire.
with turbulence higher, phantoms creep in the crevices,
it's far too easy to tumble off this teetering edifice,
feelin heat, but the element is freezing december mist
human psyche is a cycle and its' seasons are sensitive.
CIA aint the only source of leaking intelligence,
we have the power to make law & the freedom to question it.
avante garde sketch artist or medieval impressionist,
toe-tagged by the market auction reaping their benefits ..
that desire to make sure all the pieces together fit,
stems from a need to feel, plus a need to remember it.
brain matter: simply mind's flesh-n-meat representative,
like a sticker-toting spokesperson for media censorship ..
secretive presidents, a product of our potential, unlimited
the mental is infinite.. go and ask any sensible physicist;
so relax, creativity works better than discipline,
ranging from the root of evil to angelical innocence.
these 2 must work in harmony to settle your differences,
if not, the inner conscious is essentially dissonant.

come together.

Within seconds of finishing, they vanish into the Moon.
However by tomorrow’s alarm, a decision needs to be made..
And not even the warmth of the Sun’s blanket will be able to comfort
this cold and rigid bedtime story.
Mind over Matter, but Mind over Soul?
Virtue is just around the corner,
waiting to experience and conquer life with one of the two.

**Essen** · December 26th, 2010, 01:16 AM

Links will be edited here.. I'll get to them tomorrow. Constructive feedback will be returned

Happy Holidays everyone

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...017/index.html

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...219/index.html

**Galactus The Devourer** · December 26th, 2010, 01:16 PM

First off when I saw you to collabing I was like.. this should be dope as fuck... to the verse..

A prophet.. and his partner await the unborn offspring
The fate of their child lies with god and four soft wings,
He appears with two angels, with grim and stoic stares
The future parents greet him, with dim yet heroic care

damn why the angles gotta look pissed flying the baby, foreshadowing > i dunno but i really dig the word choices and Heroic Care section, dim yet heroic care, future is dim and thats why they must care for him heroically? time will tell

A soft whisper sets the tone of the ultimatum
In unison, the two begin describing verbatim
How the son will be born with a normal body and figure
Formal qualities n hormones when it’s time to be bigger
But now deliver the quiver, a daunting inconsistency
The haunting choice to be made that guarantees insufficiency.
A mind and soul, the son will live without one
And the parents of the son will determine the outcome,
One angel holds the soul, the other caresses the mind’s voice
Both will try to convince them to side with the ‘right’ choice,
The soul angel is up first and begins her speech
As fate’s handle of this growing fetus is in reach..

rhymin maybe breaks down slightly here for me with the obvious word choices of inconsistency and insufficiencies.. kinda felt bland, content wise here but what it did do well imo is set up the story ... without this section your story would be very confusing for sure.

The fetish of finding freedom embellished with logic,
Entropic settlements of immortality found in Phaedo.
The topic of the soul is Philosophy’s mosh pit
Ideas are told, clashed, and toppled with topics

really enjoyed this section and especially the metaphor of the mosh pit, with the great minds ides being its inhabitants. really dope concept and i can visually see the various ideas being people bouncing off one another.. really cool,

then continuing on with a mean flow here, banging your point across, this angel is telling the parents that this baby is going to experience many hardships through his life without a soul to lift him up when times are tough, or I may be missing something in that regard.. but he is making valid points here, really driving his points home.. like a debate or something haha

and then a gem of a bar to wrap up this section..

Let it chauffer your body’s engine till your young one becomes old
Because, as Plato said it best
“What is it that, when present in a body, makes it living? — A soul.”

with turbulence higher, phantoms creep in the crevices,
it's far too easy to tumble off this teetering edifice,

ridiculously dope bar

feelin heat, but the element is freezing december mist
human psyche is a cycle and its' seasons are sensitive.
CIA aint the only source of leaking intelligence,

really enjoyed the metas in these lines..

toe-tagged by the market auction reaping their benefits ..
that desire to make sure all the pieces together fit,

liked the wordplay in the first line, and the point made to the parents of the mind... being able to craft various options and outcomes and being able to choose the best one. to be able to construct and theorize,

hese 2 must work in harmony to settle your differences,
if not, the inner conscious is essentially dissonant.

nice wrap up..

I sorta feel cheated there wasn't really anything incorporating dreaming into the mix of mind and soul maybe as a bridge linking the too together, or even the subconscious as an umbrella of dreaming..

anyways, this was dope, and very well done, with a lot of different layers that i may be overlooking on my first read through..

if you all could get around to it, I have 2 open mics up.. one is called... its all in your head, and the other is Cherry Blossom.. I would really appreciate critiques from experienced writers such as yourselves.

**Essen** · December 26th, 2010, 06:49 PM

Appreciate the feed fam. The beginning was intended to be simple, just so the reader can understand the setting. Basically, a prophet's sun will be born perfectly normal, however he will live his life without a mind or a soul. The two angels are there, each representing a mind and soul, will try to convince the parents which entity their son should have.

But word thanks again, I see Black got to one of your pieces.. I'll get to the other one for sure when I've got a little more time.

Riseeeeee^^

**Essen** · December 27th, 2010, 10:34 PM

Feed returned.. Bumppp

**Mr. Black** · December 29th, 2010, 10:22 PM

i got these cheeseburgaz mang

**Hollow Cost** · December 31st, 2010, 05:25 PM

this was a nice topic executed pretty well, good us of multis. i rlly enjoyed the theme. this was a pretty unique piece, i did get a little bored towards the end. but definetly a good job. keep it up fam.

plz rtf

**Essen** · January 2nd, 2011, 09:30 PM

Word, I'll hit it up. Riseeeee

**oatmeal** · January 4th, 2011, 04:24 AM

2 of my favorite writers here, I expected nothing less than what was delivered. That is to say, this was dope.

I felt this piece crescendoed nicely. It started by revving the engines through a vague story and mystic imagery, which strung me along at a good pace; what was coming was mystery, but not so much so that I was really confused. Perhaps the storyline and the philosophical musings could have been married better, but overall I felt it was pretty successful.

A prophet.. and his partner await the unborn offspring
The fate of their child lies with god and four soft wings,
He appears with two angels, with grim and stoic stares
The future parents greet him, with dim yet heroic care
A soft whisper sets the tone of the ultimatum
In unison, the two begin describing verbatim

I thought this was a well-written way to enter the piece. The scheme was simple, the rhymes catchy and the diction interesting. I know that "catchy" may not be a description you were going for, but for a piece like this (content-wise) it's actually quite impressive. Moving on. I thought the next chunk began to pick up a lot of steam, with both the writing style and the content itself; the scheme became more complex and fluid and I was thrust into the meat of the concept.

The topic of the soul is Philosophy’s mosh pit
Ideas are told, clashed, and toppled with topics
As dualists duel monists, questioning logic.
Reckoning that the pious spirit’s an object.
So for this purpose, try and surface a body with no soul,
Where virtue’s compass leads to alleys with deep holes
Valleys that keep goals of limiting what’s righteous
A life without morals, or feeling a sprite lift
Your extremist desires out of the meanest of fires
To have ability to see behind the seams and the wires
Where reason triumphs treason, to deem and desire
The stream of consciousness waves, screams at liars,

all of this was sick, I ripped through it when I read it and had to press rewind a few times just to let it soak. The writing was dope, however I do feel the anchors to the story wore a little thin here. But to be honest, I kinda stopped caring about the narrative of the character as I was further entrenched in the atmosphere, so I didn't mind.

the birth of desire - intangible halo, a circle of fire
that truly can't be contained within our circuits & wires -
god-body energy, a sudden urge to inspire,
ontological force not possible in churches or choirs ..
where the love for a culture leads to urban attire -
and social anxiety meets murder for hire.
with turbulence higher, phantoms creep in the crevices,
it's far too easy to tumble off this teetering edifice,
feelin heat, but the element is freezing december mist
human psyche is a cycle and its' seasons are sensitive.
CIA aint the only source of leaking intelligence,
we have the power to make law & the freedom to question it.

this is where the piece just took off. There was a good balance of literal and metaphorical imagery. This type of writing is difficult to pull off; it seems like a random assortment of images and phrases, but they are connected just enough to compliment each other tremendously. It takes a lot of confidence to pull this off, and its hard to transpire confidence into words. That being said, I pretty much forgot about the character at this point, so in terms of cohesion of the piece, it doesn't really benefit. But again, I'm far more interested in the fast-paced, intellectually evocative writing anyway.

Ultimately, it lived up to my expectations. I will say, as someone who is passionate about writing and physics, these 2 bars are by far my favorite:

secretive presidents, a product of our potential, unlimited
the mental is infinite.. go and ask any sensible physicist;
so relax, creativity works better than discipline,
ranging from the root of evil to angelical innocence.

excellent piece. My only critique would be tying it all together neater. But in terms of challenging my mind and quality of writing, can't ask for much more.

Essen already replied to my OM on here, but Black you're a scrub

**oatmeal** · January 4th, 2011, 04:24 AM