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Thread: Mirror

  1. #1
    ...Philly® aka Teacher Token Muslim's Avatar
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    Mirror

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=248017
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=244721


    Sometimes it feels like we cannot escape,we're all captured within our sadness,
    And sometimes the hurt and the pain are too real,we feel lost in a world full of madness,
    We want to cry and be touched by someone who will hold us just while we get through,
    Someone who loves us enough just to know that a hug or a kind will do.
    Sometimes the pain runs so deep and you wonder,if you will ever survive?
    It takes alot of hard work and distraction to keep your emotions alive,
    You know that you have the divine potential to be the person you want to be,
    You just have to open up,take a look,and let all your demons run free.
    But I have tried for years to live with distraction,tried to hide what I feel,
    Sometimes I've questioned my sanity,and at times its seemed all so unreal,
    The path was so twisted along the way and I lost sight of who I longed to be,
    But then I looked into your eyes and things became clear suddenly.
    I took a moment to look at you,and saw love and respect in your eyes,
    When i saw that these feelings were meant just for me it came as such a surprise
    I saw a reflection of wonder and beauty,and you were the one who helped me see,
    The reflection in your eyes,the eyes of a friend,were reflecting a person called
    ME!!!!
    Last edited by Token Muslim; November 10th, 2005 at 12:41 AM
    Artificial Intelligence

  2. #2
    Damn this is a nice piece man feels really real man... I can relate to this shit... Damn hard relationship... NIce vocab and flow... great stuff man
    could you reply on my track WHAT IF please
    peace

  3. #3
    TwixSin
    Guest
    Immagery / content - was alright... i liked the content alot... imagery was ok not a hell of alot of it...
    Flow - Dcent kept me going throughout the whole peice... very nice work.
    Vocab - Strong i felt the vocab alot here... not too complex... but did the trick
    Complexity - Done well... you had a nice original concept and stayed with it.
    Overall enjoyment - i liked it nothing really really crazy... but defiantly good.

    nice work here... i enjoed the peice... kept me going.... keep it up dude.

  4. #4
    ...Philly® aka Teacher Token Muslim's Avatar
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    thx for the feedback you two,......uppin for more
    Artificial Intelligence

  5. #5
    Black On Black Philly®'s Avatar
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    upping for feedback pplz

  6. #6
    Banned
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    Damn this is a nice piece man feels really real man... I can relate to this shit... Damn hard relationship... NIce vocab and flow... great stuff man
    could you reply on my track WHAT IF please
    peace

  7. #7
    Black On Black Philly®'s Avatar
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    upping for feedback pplz

  8. #8
    Black On Black Philly®'s Avatar
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    uppin for feedback plz

  9. #9
    Banned Ike Ill.'s Avatar
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    it was okay yo. Like you started out pretty dope but ended all barbarian and in your face like. lol, I'd expect more out of you but I dont expect you to be a poetry head. s'all good. Anyway, not much to explain but what it was about, and well, you did a pretty good job, was hopin' you'd cover the story more. Seems like you wrote from the heart to get out some feelings though. No biggie. Imagery wasn't quite great but it was there, and as for flow, who the fuck cares? It's text. well, g'job.

    hit this yo:

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....php?p=3443673

  10. #10
    Black On Black Philly®'s Avatar
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    thx for the feedback yo..................i feed yours

  11. #11
    Live, Love, Burn, Die
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    I liked this peace. Flowed well nice topic. Structure was good. It was complex. Vocab was ill. You did a good job. Keep up the work. Hit the link in my sig.

  12. #12
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Crazt's Avatar
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    Pure Poetry! Dawg, Pure Poetry! That shit was tight, we need more of this emotions cummin up. The flow was aight, but tha fuckin topic, i think anyone can relate to. Wordplay was aight.
    Civil War on tha run! Blastin deady liars//
    Me,General Grant, your stonewall ass gets blown by FRIENDLY FIRE//

  13. #13
    Black On Black Philly®'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Crazt
    Pure Poetry! Dawg, Pure Poetry! That shit was tight, we need more of this emotions cummin up. The flow was aight, but tha fuckin topic, i think anyone can relate to. Wordplay was aight.

    thanks for the feedback man,.....................needed it

  14. #14
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Crazt's Avatar
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    No prob.
    Civil War on tha run! Blastin deady liars//
    Me,General Grant, your stonewall ass gets blown by FRIENDLY FIRE//

  15. #15
    Black On Black Philly®'s Avatar
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    bump for more feedback plz.......................thx to all others

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