A Disciple's Thread

Yeah.. I wanted a club and he wanted a laundry mat and we BOTH dreamed of getting out… the first time I cheated was because the guy told me he took a bitch to Florida and that’s what killed us bot noooo we were kids and not balling like that but how did you know?

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That one… it was so impossible that’s who I thought it was but it wasn’t… I got hit in ny and nj and nc too… it must’ve been the same person cause nah I didn’t get nothing either but still all these years later test every 6 months

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I had a few friends that were stirippere but nah I’m too self conscious like that… even then

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I respect them though…

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I’d be safe for like 2-4 weeks… they must be wealthy without a job to move to torture me

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And I had him on DNA THREE fucking times if they would listen to and believe me and just fucking check

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https://youtu.be/nxvm4P0jFKY?si=7Rhu1Y4ldXMnnc-z

So I did…

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Because I was white and my profile… I mean the town I grew up in knew id get pulled and searched like every other month

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I got hard when I went away at 13… that’s when my
Mom said I changed… my sister said I changed after Hollins got shot and evidentially pac noticed that too

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I wish he was still alive so I can ask him why he got married 3 days after my bday

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Someone must’ve lied to him

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I never remembered at allll until I was shot too… which they all say never happened besides my dad

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I didn’t date for like 8 years besides magic… I did really feel him there WAS a bond

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Starting feeling like if he knew the real me type… but he betrayed me for someone like the real and it’s all good - I despise fighting and arguments and that’s all he wanna do anyway

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Nah… PAC why I have a perfect record LMAO

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I used to see him and run too

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I’m blessed he dedicated so much of his life and after to me and just want to give him the same back

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MORE back*

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I want to meet his sister and love that she is so involved in mental health too

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Honestly… I rather just sit here and write… especially when I don’t feel good

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Ok:::

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I know… she look just like him, right? I hate when they call me a wack job cause the psychs are good at keeping me sick… I just say dealing with things that would have you locked in a panic room eating a styrofoam cup

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Stray jacket never… tied to the bed… 3x

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Ain’t nothing sweet about mental

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People should have more compassion

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Nah even at 13 I had problems for real… I mean cutting my arm chanting shut up shut up shut up every time my parents wouldn’t stop fighting… I agree - that’s mental

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My father grew up in an abusive environment beyond comprehension on multiple levels - we used to talk alot

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Very poor too

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He is a genius literally and got full scholarship at Manhattan college engineering… then came the money then came the bitches etc etc etc

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My mom was a model… she’s gorgeous but I think he loved the trophy not her

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But really did love her the most when it was already too late

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50 I BEEN known I’m your writer… WHATS UP?!??!?

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Nah she stoped modeling after high school and was a secretary… she went back to modeling costumes for a while when my parents first broke up

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The strongest most selfless woman you will EVER meet… she not just pretty outside

I don’t need all eyes on me post too cause I need some advise and I need to read

Yes my mom not stressing and laughing will make me feel a little better - thank you

https://youtu.be/8LE3_GGxaYc?si=8J_5AbqTjLEQ2x6Q

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Because I was happy but didn’t realize: they some how got me to dmv in sports bra and my bf didn’t sleep with me for 3 years and I hardly notice… I only cried over being a stupid delerious bitch… that’s why I refuse to leave my product

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I’d say until I know but I don’t think I’ll ever trust again now

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20 cent Jackson nas pls keep me grounded

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How would you feel? ESPECUALLY as a woman

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To be honest sometimes I rather be dodging bullets again

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Cause I save and that feels good

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I used to drive around and play last dayz by onyx during covid… I’m just weird like that

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I was sober and tested all the time and everyone but the people who can help know that

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I’m going to school even if I look ratchet rule is can’t miss 2 I already did that this would be 3 if I can’t make it

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Why is it so easy for them to drag me down every time I get back up?

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I already hear voices cause my mental illness… who thinks it’s ok to add more though and if that’s how you live fine - but it makes me sick unless an emergency

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They’re making me sick on purpose it feel like and as a joke too

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I can tell the difference between the 2

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But when I go to pray and they go first and cut me off and make me forget… that’s not my religion I don’t share my body or soul like that and never signed up for that either - but no one will make them stop

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Lost myself again and started to act pathetic just like Anthony / feel like everytime I try to go home

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Heard he still beating bitches… smh

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2 saves 1 drop down

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Saves normal life awake the drop down was a dream

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Thought god was punishing but wonder if that’s what he was trying to tell me they get like leave it alone

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https://youtu.be/c0J00k4gC_Y?si=UWvfpKNQ66r0gatg

Yeah she my favorite female artist since I heard her in underground

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It’s like… maybe if I spit and air it all out I feel better and I do… its better than crying

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But it’s embarrassing too

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Like I guess cause they was watching the entire time and know I ain’t even do shit or do shit to deserve it so how and why?

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Explaining my side like how anyone even confused

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I was 100 Percocet honest with my psychs and look how they did me - I trusted them too

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Nah never did pills but once when my boy was joking and put it in my mouth and made me swallow lol… it was like e which I don’t a handful of times too

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Done*

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That’s it… weed yay and liquor except a rare off e here and there is all… oh smoked wet once by accident

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I’m not A’d out like that and how they try to portray

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Even down to them lying on me

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Or slipping me before their fake sick make me go to psych cause I have no rites anymore type shit

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WHY? WTF IS GOING ON FOR REAL

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Cause I was dead sober and forgot the license pic or my cpu saying iwww etc etc

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I feel bad my mom keep coming in my room and I KNOW she smell the liquor - I can’t sleep for nothing

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I rather down 3 nips then take the sleeping pill and be paralyzed with my mind still racing for hours… it just work better for me

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The ironic part is I don’t like being fucked up with that

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Keep you sober and alert type u feel safer

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When I’m upset*

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But no way in hell would I ever promote it and I would fuck my daighter up if she ever tried it

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Like that*

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My brother keep telling me I did it before I can do it again but it’s like 20x harder now

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I’m so broken I don’t think I can or not sure I want to

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Being scared like literally every second of every day month and year… it wore me down and still does

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I know and I know I don’t miss a beat too… that doesn’t make it ok that makes it worse

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Then show everyone how too? How the fuck does that even happen to begin with?

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And why?

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I remember bits and pieces of the assault now so it’s possible I may have blacked that out due to the trauma but since I need left my drink and my greedy ass friend had a free vacation idk

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I never left my drink*

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It was either the bar tender or my bestie

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Did you see how green my eyes that day when I finally realized she guilty too? It hurt yo BAD

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Some of my old friends I tolerated but some I really did love to death

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Money! You know I ain’t talking though

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It’s not cause I fear God it’s cause I love him

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Felt betrayed in areas where I felt I should’ve been protected - that why I read it

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If you can’t keep it real with your god then who can you keep it real with

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I yell scream and curse talking to him all the time

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Why I’m 9th circle

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On borrowed time 4x that I know and probably even more I don’t know of… I’m good but trying to find and be myself again starting to come to the conclusion I’ll never be the person I was ever again

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Trying to figure out who I am now

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I know not them get out, but they won’t

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That’s when I question other gods like I have a feeling you hate earth and wanna get us off it asqp

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I used to like it here… still do sometimes despite

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I know people can be happy here and I want to be again too

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My God is Creator of Heaven and earth only and I joke about that

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Space always scared me until I accidentally sent my shadows there trying to fall asleep - that’s why I read too

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Allah alien after that droid… maybe?!?’

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I was told to read after I sent them to solace by accident - I wouldn’t to respect both gods - not my business until I realized it kinda was

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I don’t like his touch he grosses me out and makes me sick and feel icky please make him stop trying PLEASE

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Homie have the money… BYE

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Not trying to be mean or hurt feelings but it’s not like I haven’t already told you no like 3x

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AND STAY AWAY

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I should’ve left T when he went outside to take that call at Es house… I regret it but that confort and peace I never had realizing now that probably their fake shit again anyway

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Fuck hon for real I’m good but hoping with this being public and all he done look like S much of an ASSHOLE THAT HE REALLY IS

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I’m not into shaming people like most of them are - just don’t have that taste

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Grateful no matter how much big jokes and calls me mae

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I really did lose almost all my fight and spunk

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I don’t like being forced to share my body with their spirits either like they trying to bitch me

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Does anyone know how to make that stop?

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It’s like o already hear voices all day every day do I have to feel like them now too for real?

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I understand how and why my dad went out - it makes me want to cry cause it really is on the people who were hurting me too

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I told my aunt that them bitches really changed fate it wasn’t me… I thought changing fate was impossible

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Evidentially not…

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I’m just like I would drink myself to death easy too and that’s what fucked up

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Like a protest

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But him… he was torn

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That secret what ever it was and is made him that sick to do it

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I have a strong conviction against loved ones keeping secrets now

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T don’t love me.:: hasn’t since October even though he met the decoy they placed in July

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I analyze too long and too much and too slow

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It’s not I have to see it myself it has to slap me in the face

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Before I realize and accept it

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Especially if I allow myself to love or trust again

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Now? I’m not fronting I really love war being a b girl

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Yeah Remy just want to have fun again while I’m here

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Who gonna show me now where the fun at?

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M knew I knew both… that’s why they said be careful

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Nah homie that’s where I’m safe as long as it’s not THEM

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I know why you was mad em… cause I really was looking at them pink and chocolate diamonds like I forgot who I was

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LITERALLY

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I refuse to be a switch up any bitch you want bitch

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I hate like 9 and think it’s valuable to take care of the ones that people died to get here too

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Have like 9*

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From my family..

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I’m sick if you catch me buying one

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https://youtu.be/sXJXLq1lN7U?si=OhmGjb1F1FZvZJMe

She was teaching me how to cook rice not crack

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It hurt when he said Ty was talking shit about me… deep down I know he wouldn’t

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Nope the Pyrex one brb

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I had friends that were prostitutes though… strippers raised me too

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Jay…. Did I give you the shoe box or was that just a dream cause I lost it somehow

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One of my besties and her room mate

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And the lady at zebras who convinced me to pick Ced up after I left him there

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Hell no bitch we ain’t cool and never will be… don’t matter won’t even be a factor

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Nah like I don’t think you all realize how many times pac saved me life… I would go in 2 seconds to see him and give him a hug

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Guys… how do I make it to school tonight?

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It’s like an anxiety of people thinking bad of me

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Especially after flipping out all weekend LITERALLY I don’t know who see what either that’s why it was dead wrong to post my shit to face book

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Like I’m sabotaging myself on purpose only it isn’t me - they just stronger

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My emotions are too strong when I’m sick and people being mean to me because I’m irresponsible sometimes make me even more sick

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It seems I’m irresponsible but really it’s the mental illness*

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Then to explain mentally ill doesn’t really make sense to everybody that think it’s so easy to just do it

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I really am going to fight and try though

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The strict environment that used to kick me into high gear is opposite now that I’m depression not manic anymore

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I hate peiple seeing me like a zombie or being socially awkward

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I hate T he did this on purpose and if he didn’t how can he be so selfish like he doesn’t see it

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I refuse to see or talk to him until after I graduate… missing too many days… I’ll still pray for him though

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I don’t want to see him dead or nothing

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Been sick and pacing ever since he did that… idek the last time I slept

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Not to blame but it really is his fault… he the sane one that should know better

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Like him and my step father don’t get it… I wish for ONE day they can feel what it feels like inside and physical too when you’re mentally sick - neither of them get it

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Because I did EVERYTHING the drs told me to do and it made me worse… I don’t trust them anymore and want to do it my way now even though I’m not qualified and shit but peace and comfort in my body is what’s most important to me and why I put up with so much

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I have ZERO fight left… and if you knew me prior you’d know how fucked up that is on its own

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I really am going to write a list off all the fucked yo shit he did and lied to me about cause no way in hell am I forgiving this or speaking to him again

The black marker on top of the bag… STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY HELL MATE TOO!!!! I refuse to even speak to my hell mate until I graduate


https://youtu.be/2AMYhy2p_Cs?si=IVu0Z05sKM7C61lk

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Nah you’re fucked

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How many times I said no and asked you to leave me alone… you wouldn’t even when you repeatedly saw how sick yoiu make me too

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It’s literally like I’m allergic to him

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Set ME up on 7/4… WRONG DATE… I hate you now dog

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If you refuse to stop you see the otherside of me too

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Fuck your clout ain’t worried about it… I’m not the one that did you wrong or selfishly insist on you being sick out your own zone

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If you have a problem with anyone though… take it to me… I do worry for my loved ones now too

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PS I am mental and this is just all the air outs and such - where the site lets me be me but mostly it isn’t all me

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A guy I dated that I caught spying on my phone… you can just message me if you wanna see anything else - I have 3 account names… new trauma… new ban… or I’m just starting over

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NoNun2

@yg nah I’m not like that and when I was posting panty shots… it started cause all the avatars here is small butts so I was representing for team fat girl

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Where dey at doe?

https://youtu.be/T8ugsY2PfqM?si=PAnNWtcqEqb-MvMF

I want to play… never played before but I want to try… how?

Jicera I tried to pick you out a 2025 new car… first Chevy, then Audi, then Acura even BMW but they are ALL ugly as fuck - if pac was still here I’d say just pick your owh… shit I wish but I’m scared all the 2025s are tacky or ugly - I like flashy but them rims on them all like NO

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I swear I didn’t see one cute one out of all sights… good thing I don’t need one

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I do remember I chose Jicers my sister was scared she would get picked on and wanted Ashley Corrine Asia and Chyna were close 3rds

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Joan Kerry Chris and Cheryl = Jicera

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I really didn’t mean to cut my dad out though - damn i feel bad just feel bad there was so much negative to say when really i couldn’t imagine a better father - we were close

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I wouldn’t go insane I bet you I pass out

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Now when they tell me all this shit at once and that’s when I feel they should know better and hid it and did it on purpose

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Omg Tesla hell no.. I would get too frustrated having to sit in the car to charge it - not worth it and the backs are always too plain for me

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Nah the second time? My dad was coming home from a business trip and I got scared so I locked myself in there lol

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THATS how i got you here

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He already caught me throwing up in the bathroom before he left and thought it was just a stomach virus

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You seen my school pic… I don’t remember throwing up so much but evidentially I did

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On IG NONUN2Rapbattles

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Nah couldn’t risk it… people wouldn’t have understood

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Did he get you? I just wonder where you went a lot

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Could’ve sworn I heard jicera sit down in a documentary and got hope

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He was screaming at me running with my shadows in mb when I got home my sister and dad were saying baby… I HAD NO FUCJKING CLUE WHAT ANYONE WAS TALKING ABOUT AND AZSUMING THE WORST GOT SCARED INSTEAD

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Yeah when Juno came out I glitched too and went into mental - nobody still didn’t tell me shit lol

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I think Juno came out first and they were talking about it at work and it was my bday too that was the first time in mental since when my old friends drugged me trying to allegedly calm me down but when I woke up they accused me of tying suicide

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Do I got admitted… the combination almost killed me I almost remember my father carrying me in the hospital

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Would that count as attempted murder? Cause I don’t know how else to make them bitches leave me alone and I’m not lying and they refuse to step off after a decade

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Honestly I’m just like WHY?

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Hate them bitches they played me and got me everytime - I’d fall right into it

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Fuck it

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Hmm Raleigh Holly Hills somewhere in between 04 06 I’m pretty sure

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Don’t remember which er it was though

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Shit when and if I snitch I tell EVERYONE lol nah I’m not like that but I think they call it dry snitching and it’s funny to me

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Maybe one day if all will catch up to you all

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Be scared until now too

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Please send security to your auntie cause she the ones that caught the pills in her cabinet when she said she didn’t give me none and I’m serious - that network connected as fuck

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You hitches could’ve just left me alone at anytime

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All you all

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I hear them still but it’s the lunar voices not the medical ones

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You have no clue how sick I am of all of them but meds too hard to get right so i just deal with them

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I know they not real

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I pick up on hints easy and had an angel to help me figure it all out and he maddd patient too

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Nah I don’t need to send them to jail just to let them know I will if they get to fucking around again

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No I do worry about my sister she had a bad dream that was just likes pacs too

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I already know he chose the wrong side but I’m not fucking with him anyway until I graduate missing way too many days

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If he loved me he wouldn’t fight with me cause it makes me sick

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To be honest sometimes it feels like they all do it on purpose

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Like it’s a joke

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It’s my body get off it pls don’t tap me or pop my ear

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How you just get on someone’s body like that though especially without asking

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Staying single don’t even bother

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Now I know why I never got it… so to have and lost? Give me a sec it took me like a year to figure out the last breath question

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I’m only crazy or not when it’s convenient for you… if I’m so crazy not credible why I can’t get disability

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Trying since 2013 I think… I mean I rather write and be productive - I don’t want to live on $1k a month really anyway - I wish I could hold a job

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I know FEMA

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I know there are more mes out there

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My mother who was a sec then project manager funds all their entertainment and it’s not fair

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Yup

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It’s not my religion it feels icky and they won’t stop

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And?

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You have no clue how funny that furnace part was… had a really bad dream in mental about one

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Funnier cause I’m Italian too but nah my father wasn’t connected

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Might be why I barely have seen any of my family though

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Just air it out spit it out and I feel better - I love this site for letting me

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Wish you all would do it too

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The therapist don’t listen or talk back either and i prefer it

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And when they do they don’t get it right in their notes anyway

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They had in their someone killed themself in front of me… NOOOOO a party got shot up and he died on my lap - they say surgery but I felt him lift

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I was 16

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I really resent my psych plight but ok I what’s the word - accept it as hard knocks

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I DESPISE PSYCH

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I did everything they told me and just got worse and worse

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My life my personal comfort now and what feels more comfortable for me in my own body but MEDICATION REALLY IS CRITICAL

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It does really suck I hate it I’m so over it and ready

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Nobody understands how it feels or what it’s like and I wish we could just switch for one day to see it

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Feel it actually… some days it’s really gross

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Nah I don’t like weed rarely smoke

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I was completely honest with my drs cause I’m triying to get better and they lied and used it against me

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I haven’t had a dirty urine since 2017 but disability still say no

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That network though

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I really don’t understand what the big deal is to be honest

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Who the fulck wanna live off $1k a month I used to make that in a week

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It’s not like I’m faking

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The guilt of my mom paying for everything gets to me everyday

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I should be giving her money

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To be honest fuck them I just hope my writing hit

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99 then 1 yr in 03

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Nah it’s funny to me cause she would talk all that shit about her father but who has to go to the methadone clinic to get off her pills… idc “I don’t fuss” or judge just laugh alot sometimes

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Yup

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Nah if she playing I want tio play on a different board… I hate them bitches

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Grateful and praying they forever out my life

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And never tick and play me again

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I have no clue what “the game” is I always assumed it was hustling

- - - Updated - - -

But pac talk about ut all the time I’ll try

- - - Updated - - -

That 5 years though still praying and trying to help him bank some too

- - - Updated - - -

He did 26

- - - Updated - - -

Hell mate we broke up

- - - Updated - - -

And I don’t want to see him until I graduate

- - - Updated - - -

Pace rule… if I can’t trust him I can’t love him

- - - Updated - - -

I feel better just hate sleeping when I don’t feel good

- - - Updated - - -

I think I’m up to 6 failed relationships and totally accept it’s me lol

- - - Updated - - -

Just everyone I’m happy and get up I get kicked down

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Every time*

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Idk how or what either I just get sick with a spirit infection I call it when they demand to share my body with me ands won’t take no and get out for an answer

- - - Updated - - -

How they fuck they stronger then me though and type what they want sometimes

- - - Updated - - -

I hate it - usually only when Kev is trying to get back into the picture and we never even dated so I don’t get it either you

- - - Updated - - -

All of them BYE no ties to ties either anybody that talk to them in any way shape or form has to stay away - its my body and I don’t want to he bullied in it

- - - Updated - - -

Who the fuck is that old man taking all the time anyway - never met him

- - - Updated - - -

Talking*

- - - Updated - - -

I’ll try to sleep… nite

- - - Updated - - -

Ill sue the hell out that bitch - inbox me if that’s what’s up

- - - Updated - - -

It’s my worst nightmare my first flip out here is when they got into my private ig and posted pics on here

- - - Updated - - -

Now I’m not private at all but still trying to find me again and my comfort zone too

- - - Updated - - -

I prefer to blend in a crowd but still hope to be rich one day

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That’s why I write

- - - Updated - - -

Want to pay back my mom and if I do really good buy back her old house

- - - Updated - - -

Really really good some accounts for the kids and stuff involved but not theirs

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Well most of them are adults now but the kids… we old

- - - Updated - - -

Nah i thought he only got five but when I checked and he was still in there I said wrote like wtf - and it’s not my religion to share my body and I don’t like it - does anyone know how to make it stop

- - - Updated - - -

They type what they want and I have to fight to fix it - it’s disrespectful and annoying as fuck

- - - Updated - - -

Am I so traumad it’s a new mental illlness

- - - Updated - - -

They’ve held me down twice before too

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Literally can not move like your chained

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3 times

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It’s happened 3x I think

- - - Updated - - -

Nah when I get lost or confused MY bullies have helped me drive home but I don’t like them

- - - Updated - - -

I was gonna put a world star about a ghost driving while I’m sleep

- - - Updated - - -

My bullies respect me theirs have no rite and don’t

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Yeah I could relate to Jesus grab the wheel but mine only do in emergencies and only like a few times I could think of

- - - Updated - - -

It should make you feel better - there is life after death your a ghost

Where da ass pics @

I told you all the psychs killed him… he was starting to figure it out wasn’t he?

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If he is alive I want to get to witsec with him

- - - Updated - - -

Look at their network now? Look what the still getting away with

- - - Updated - - -

Yeah the lady at the eye Dr… I recognized her from a documentary - he’s here

- - - Updated - - -

They took a bond and changed the name… you should be happy he kept me safe

- - - Updated - - -

@yg can we get some big girl assets on as avatars too? … thats why

- - - Updated - - -

Asses*

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They brainwashed me I swear I didn’t know

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That’s why he got married… cause I thought I lost my virginity and slept with someone on my 16th bday

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I know he was coming back for me now

- - - Updated - - -

Nah the Neuro switched up and said it was drugs too

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They above law and medical and police and I’m scared

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I’m so tired of being scared

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Yo I reported and had DNA and my THERAPIST called and said never mind put her in mental and they did… SHE CALLED she’s not even a dr and it could’ve been antibody

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St marys in Waterbury I don’t remember the year… I’m not lying!

- - - Updated - - -

I exonerate Sug… I’m not scared of him so it can’t be him

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Digital underground though makes me cringe but that may be just cause they made him leave me cause I was too young

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They got away with shooting me too!!!!

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And even worse

- - - Updated - - -

I think on the run part 2 is how a lot of people put it together before me too… I trust Jay z too

- - - Updated - - -

It was hard to like him Nas lol

- - - Updated - - -

But o really am SO GRATEFUL

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https://youtu.be/XsJb02nPukI?si=7c6EaknnKn6MrbyS

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Yeah when I ran away and he was supposed to pick me up he sent the police lmao

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Jay… did I give you my Fila box or was I just tripping? One split second of you driving my drop

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No matter how many decades it took, if you never woke me up I stil may have never known - so thank you whether you meant to or not

- - - Updated - - -

Brownfields… nobody knows what brownfields are

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Contaminated property that’s been cleaned up

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My phone not giving me correct definitions either - they off the hook make psych stop PLEASE IM SCARED

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Yeah… got kicked out of school today too, too many absences - I’m going to try tomorrow they said be there by Friday so hopefully on Friday ok

- - - Updated - - -

https://youtu.be/ydJfUJFZF1M?si=NPn5SeSDeKPDnft3

LOVE IT… I love all the YouTube’s you push to my phone

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My emotions are physical it’s a part of mental illness

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Man the dentist today… felt the entire shit and have to come back again

- - - Updated - - -

This happened before

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It’s why it took 2 years to go back after they had to do that root canal twice

- - - Updated - - -

I hate the dentist to begin with

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I know them bitches hiding their skeletons in MY body but is there anyway we can make them stop and prove it?

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Ok… you’re dad put me in mental when my father was coming home and I ran away LOL

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They sent me a text that tomorrow is your birthday - I’ll be praying

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I starting bleeding a lot at least we knew the police were coming… I’m lucky I didn’t have a miscarriage

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We’ were in the basement by the cellar door and when the police came to the door and got in we ran out and thru the woods and got to Roger’s park and thought we made it and then here comes your aunt and mammy RIGHT ON TIME to take me to the station

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Everytime I hear “back to life” I think about it

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https://youtu.be/wx-s_yo1cP4?si=ql4nKQJWrRwcsuQX

I forgot how bad I was until one day I was in the drop and sitting sideways by Paul wall came on and I looked down and was sitting sideways and started crying because I felt like the fakest bitch in the world

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Them I was crying years later about being the stupidest bitch in the world forgetting to ask about shit like how did they get a license pic of me in a sports bra when know what I was wearing

And it all just got worse and worse and worse

- - - Updated - - -

The guy that dame on way too hard when your dad was still around… one day we served him and they asked what was wrong and I said it’s ok we got his product im fine. SO im a little scared to let go

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I got the best of it not worse but can’t promote too much shit either

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He was the same age as your dad… and I did report it to the police and they didn’t feel the need to press charges or say shit - it was a different day back then so but I get it

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Hell no…. I’m private didn’t mean all the outbursts during insanity but I feel too awkward to go to school a lot. I want to stay secret but I want to see you too

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I have a bunch of story and movie ideas rhough

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What’s the way our… so cute… I’m good at that

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Way out*

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I must’ve met God and Allah but don’t shoot me again please

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Secrets keep people sick guys

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I got mad at the church when they didn’t pray for my mom… I believe Allah watched over me until I calmed down and yet again and such. But if can’t put him over my God

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I assume cause of your father but I don’t know why

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Started waking up when Juno came out… idk what them bitches were doing or why but yeah I do believe they are that selfish evil and cold

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Even my brother in law gave me a clue… love him to death too

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And stupid enough to murder someone before they admit fault of self or mistake

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Seriously though?

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And lie in court

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And lie to feds

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And wake me up in front of the courthouse when I was with police too when I didn’t even speak to her for 3 years (I thought I was hallucinating)

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She called me like a week later to apologize for being a bad friend and got away with it’s AGAIN

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They won’t stop fucking with my phone - they been trying to mentally break me since July again

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I rather go up against a gun before I go to mental again… and I’m not afraid of shit usually

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FEMA!!!!!!!

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I was in Myrtle beach and knew I got sick but when I woke up my dad was being mean and acting funny and my step mom came home and it looked like she had a gun in her suitcase so I got scared and ran and stole a car

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I thought I just got mentally sick in mb and didn’t know they hurt me and that’s why I was so scared

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I hoped over the banister of the stairs runni!g… but I know my dad would never hurt me… her I’m not so sure

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They tried to make me assume I was a vampire and that’s why I was bleeding black

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Why didn’t they tell me I was raped?

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I humiliated myself and screamed it everywhere because they didn’t

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Your father was there screaming at me to wake up and screaming original promises with my shadows but I still didn’t get it… that’s when he told me to run to 50

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We’ve known each other on a religious level since at least 5th grade is he knew my promises

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Since he knew my promises*

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He saved my life and record more times then I can count - he’s an angel for real

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It’s like I see him so much it’s impossible for him to be alive but I still hope he is

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It’s probably why I would go to so easy

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That’s what scares a lot of my enemies… nothing to lose bitch

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He’s just an asshole cause he believes and trusts the psychs too

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I don’t know anything about fucking with e mentally ill persons head helps the situation

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I’ve worked on my Temper ALOT IM FINE but I did leave when I snapped and almost beat him down too

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I don’t blame him I was so confused I told the police he was the one raping me

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Impossible - it wasn’t him cause the sicko followed me to every state I ran to

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I had him on dna 3x but no one would believe me or help

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If I didn’t report it I got to go home - wake med Raleigh MEDICAL record but I’m sure by now that’s missing too

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WHY?

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The police said my cat peed on my bed, left the Bible on the floor and was turning on and off my tv

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PSYCH KILLED PAC

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They’re above all law and medical and I don’t understand how

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They’re above the police too and that’s what scares me

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I caught them on my spy cam and brought it to crises intervention and they said “that’s paranoid delusional would I like to retract my statement” they wouldn’t even look at it

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That’s when my dad stepped in and started drug testing me himself

- - - Updated - - -

I was clean

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He searched my apartment but couldn’t find nothing other then my meds hidden somewhere

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They get to everybody - even my hell mate betrayed me

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My father drunk himself to death… and died with $3k in the bank - you best believe im stepping in too

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Yeah he’s fucking with me again just lost mad time… that’s why they made my bf leave

- - - Updated - - -

It was 9pm just 5 minutes ago though

- - - Updated - - -

I refuse to be scared anymore but someone needs to tell him to stop please

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I can’t go to school unless I’m safe and they refuse to stop. IM A PERSON NOT A TOY

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I REFUSE TO DO ANYTHING UNTIL THEY STOP

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https://youtu.be/YNL5GcAO0r4?si=UJJJpobvgqnVrxBT

I can’t hate someone that never did me wrong

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I pray you not a creeper

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Nah me and scissors not feeling good losing time… not a good match

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I’m too scared to

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Don’t even miss a beat

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It’s not fair or humane WHY?!??!

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Nah delta my favorite plane

- - - Updated - - -

https://youtu.be/KCHgxoXv4g4?si=-ZJipvdDrFSwejQl

I think he was babysitting idk ask spoon what happened. Ced came too but I was slept and didn’t know or hear him. My old friends did it

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There’s another one but I can’t think of it right now

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Of course the liquor store is closed too

- - - Updated - - -

They refuse to let me be happy and get back up… WHO AND WHY?

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I think it said witness

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Nah I don’t feel good I want to fucking throw up!!!

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How am I supposed to sleep tonight?

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Lord please don’t let them do this again

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https://youtu.be/JUDbSL-5GHQ?si=lMNNO2HvxHIkhvaP

That one - he was tripping i was in the club only I didn’t send a pic I was helping Fred open a fb account

Because if I kill myself I can’t be with pac

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He took all my friends and anyone I get along with top… I have no where to go to feel safe

Have the happiest birthday ever baby girl ����

https://youtu.be/oODwKFXfKqE?si=YWzF26SqNtbmQ8Ks

Yes baby yes to them all… when he’s here with me I don’t cry anymore!

Happiest birthday ever baby girl… go get a new car on dad if I could tell you to - wish I could tell you to, hope and pray he got you!!!

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If not I know he’s there with you too!

If not I know he’s there with you too!

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I want you to know how great of a man your father really is and how patient… no matter how confused I was going every other direction or thinking he represented someone else… he never left me NEVER and was patient - he saved my record by getting me away from 3 crimes accidentally… woke me up in mb so I can fight back and run… screaming at me to remember and I couldn’t… but he still never left… he slept next to me all night when I was too scared to sleep for 3 days… I can even feel when he holds… when I got shot falling out the car saying me? Shoe? I was mad I came back to life too… he’s the angel - not me and in fact he may have even visited me every Thursday when I was in juvi and like… we never fought unless it was over who loved who more… I know we had you still on my bday and if I wrote you a letter before we all had to part because your dad was meant to be who he was - I would love to read it… I hope now that I know gets back to you and you write me back too! There’s no stronger bond than family even Jaycee too! LOVE YOU

- - - Updated - - -

What’s funny is half my old friends were panthers too and saw past my white… we still joke about racist shit though

- - - Updated - - -

My one boy was into the activists speeches pod casts… you have no clue how many times I’d shake my head and just stand up and walk out lol

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One of my ibm bosses was a panther and I wrote her bio for work… I had a few black woman bosses and I swear they’re viscous and dominate corporate and stuff like that makes me proud too

- - - Updated - - -

My ex bf who had to marry a black woman and I got that… he cried when Obama got elected and it made me cry too

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I didn’t know prejudism even existed until I moved to CT…

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And my passion for civil and sociall justice stems from your father too I’m sure

- - - Updated - - -

For the biggie you don’t know who shot you comment means he made it and is in witsec and if so I want to go too

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But I see his eyes, voice, and ghost so much idk

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Even today at school… I know his tone anywhere like when Rick said “stupid jealous motherfucker”

- - - Updated - - -

We was pulled at a toll on the bridge cause no one had any money and it clicked that we was running cause they came in to the car loaded… I looked at my ex and said if they come in I’m jumping. That’s how scared of jail I used to be - probably because of your father too

- - - Updated - - -

The book bag omg… a fight with bats brought us to the police station and the cop said if he searched my car for bats and there was none we can go… I made sure he wrote bats specifically cause we forgot to drop off the pound of weed first - when he picked up the book bag he smelled it and was so vexed by it went to a judge for a warrant. The judge refused it and my mom got the letter in the mail and I was like oh shit - that’s cause we had no toll me… I’m got at “what’s the way out” at least used to be

- - - Updated - - -

Sometimes I wonder if that cop still has a hard on for me… he’s the first one to show up if I ever got in trouble but I think he just had a crush on my mom lol

- - - Updated - - -

I was bad… but the Miracle of acing that computer test by accident and getting into IBM - I took strong to I don’t have to be anymore

- - - Updated - - -

It’s a way out until you get a way out and my thug life theory… nah… some people never get a way out

- - - Updated - - -

I feel like now I was wrong to say it

- - - Updated - - -

I mopping the floor one night at the gas station laughing like “do you have a dead end job?” … your dad went to work

- - - Updated - - -

I don’t know how he does it especially if he is alive

- - - Updated - - -

That’s why I hate felonies so much

- - - Updated - - -

It only take one to ruin your entire life and that’s not fair

- - - Updated - - -

Or even like my recent ex who accepted a plea tagging him to the list… after 26 years served are you even fucking serious cause he’s not free of that which is almost worse

- - - Updated - - -

Mental not the only laws that need ratification

- - - Updated - - -

Must be nice to be so perfect and privy right? I feel them

- - - Updated - - -

I lost my love for politics when I learned about the elite theory and how we really not a democracy and it broke my heart when I realize I have a lot of commy in me too… equal pay equal jobs type stuff though

- - - Updated - - -

Only the electoral votes count and they don’t have to vote the majority vote

- - - Updated - - -

That’s the elite theory

- - - Updated - - -

My dead uncle still didn’t believe me lol

- - - Updated - - -

Law I was good at law but not smart enough… then I realized I was I just had tutors in inpatient and went to an alternative school for bad kids… I got to college and FAILED EVERYTHING no matter how hard I tried to study except sociology and business law I got an A I even failed English but got 1 A for the process of how to recover from seeing murder

- - - Updated - - -

Yeah your dad noticed I changed too hearing his older stuff

- - - Updated - - -

I got tongues that night… called my sister thought I told her the entire story and she said all I kept saying was snake rat gun over and over again

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Until the End of Time and Hail Mary is us

- - - Updated - - -

I mean mad mad more songs but those are the majors and Pain too

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I ain’t mad at cha - there’s a lot

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Yeah Hail Mary is the night I caught tongues and my boy even has Hail Mary on his grave - she’s my favorite saint

- - - Updated - - -

And yeah that was all eyes too… when they started coming around and testing me a lot too

- - - Updated - - -

Even yesterday and old lady angel 2 of them actually were driving like 15 mph and I was trying to get to the bank by 5pm I said fucked it and floored past them… we kinda been fighting ever since cause they always act like im not good enough but they have always been there for me

- - - Updated - - -

Nah I got it to the point like I don’t even want to get in

- - - Updated - - -

They say poor old soul and hold my hand crying… I say you do it

- - - Updated - - -

Gabriella is my confirmation name where as I was confirmed pregnant… jicera I hope you consider Roman Catholism but will respect if you just believe in SOMETHING OR SOMEONE greater than yourself

- - - Updated - - -

Messenger/writer

- - - Updated - - -

They say your saints pick you

- - - Updated - - -

Religion cool as fuck

- - - Updated - - -

But scary

- - - Updated - - -

Why over you..: you need someone to catch you when you fall and free falling not fun

- - - Updated - - -

Nothing but nightmares when I don’t feel good that’s why I hate to sleep

- - - Updated - - -

Insanity or death I literally couldn’t tell the difference

- - - Updated - - -

Nah me and your dad for facts since I was in 5th grade but probably even since birth

- - - Updated - - -

He knew my original promises cause he was screaming them to me in mb and I was so confused cause I didn’t know we already had a child..: they brain washed me

- - - Updated - - -

That’s why it took so long to understand and get…

- - - Updated - - -

I got like 10-20 split seconds back when I got shot and time to look back too

- - - Updated - - -

It wasn’t as I remembered it… like my mom making me pull down my pants to prove I had my period and didn’t… I thought I was just lying for wishful thinking I had my period stuff like that

- - - Updated - - -

Nah I dont click links or fuck with too much audio cause I’m hypno too

- - - Updated - - -

Your dad a genius and hypnod me too

- - - Updated - - -

He goes above and beyond for real!!!!!

- - - Updated - - -

Smart as fuck too…

- - - Updated - - -

Yeah I was always like I hear and see you all the time why did you wait until v day 2024 to tell me lol

- - - Updated - - -

I hear him I see him I feel him… maybe those were the rules of what ever games he play which normally I’m against but if there’s a game I want to try to play with him… us… cause I remember you wishing for my bdays back writing the rules

- - - Updated - - -

And calling a council

- - - Updated - - -

Nah I’m good… they knew I could hold my own so they jumped me the only way they knew how

- - - Updated - - -

But the rest tore me away from every friend I ever had

- - - Updated - - -

And they still hit me everytime I try to get better and get back home

- - - Updated - - -

A religion that isn’t even mine shouldn’t be so powerful

- - - Updated - - -

I mean they seriously rather kill me then admit fault and being human… you were teens then you not anymore and should know better

- - - Updated - - -

Well… I hope we proved he’s real

- - - Updated - - -

And my god no joke… hard as fuck if they did record what happened when I stole that $1 soda

- - - Updated - - -

Hoping since they dragged me into their religion he will drag them into mine

- - - Updated - - -

Idk my theory is that the devil don’t want you to do evil he’s just a warden and sick of you all too

- - - Updated - - -

The devil made you do it? Nah just your cell mate

- - - Updated - - -

But that’s just an opinion

- - - Updated - - -

A lot of people don’t like getting into trouble without dragging other people down with them

- - - Updated - - -

I guess we see eventually right?

- - - Updated - - -

We drink wine in church and substances are not in our commandments

- - - Updated - - -

It’s basically impossible tp stick to them 10 to begin

- - - Updated - - -

To begin with*

- - - Updated - - -

I try my best not to lie unless someone in my business or expenses

- - - Updated - - -

Doing that to your father curbed all that

- - - Updated - - -

But my ex knowing my entire truth? HELL MO DEAD WRONG cause im not even married - that’s for your husband not your boyfriend who has another gf to begin with

- - - Updated - - -

My body language lie to for FACTS maybe cause my heart people don’t realize I WAS LITERALLY FEET FIRST

- - - Updated - - -

Jesus fought for hell so I want to too

- - - Updated - - -

I got to righteous… I got cut off and said in my car to myself go get your burger you fat bitch and got checked back into hell that night… it keeps me humble

- - - Updated - - -

Something like that coming out my mouth is not like me

- - - Updated - - -

Unless it’s a straight up fight

- - - Updated - - -

I’m sorry they lied to ced the most… he was my hell mate and until the end of time partner… he had a pac verse that was tatted removed but nah he never explained shit to me either

- - - Updated - - -

I wish people spoke up more for real

- - - Updated - - -

I despise secrets

- - - Updated - - -

My dad isn’t on my bc but my mom swears it’s cause he wasn’t there but somehow I wouldn’t be surprised if Muslim
Is in my blood but I know Allah wouldn’t respect me not keeping my promises to my god either - staying Roman Catholic

- - - Updated - - -

Almost all my boyfriends were Muslim though lmao

- - - Updated - - -

After one of them I said hellll nooo never again I’ll read and respect you but it took so long to read the Quran because I was respecting their religion

- - - Updated - - -

Same all eyes that jicera was wishing for my bdays back… sorry so late baby - if I knew i would have the next day

- - - Updated - - -

Maybe she was raised Muslim? And that’s why Allah showed me his grace

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Write the rule talk no politics and religion and all I do is talk both lol

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Right… the rule of*

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I’d still die for her in a second

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Why I had to be real careful picking a baby dad… to it’s all good I leave them in a ditch cause I assumed I was going to die in child birth

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Didn’t realize I already survived it

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Wish I could protect myself again

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They already hitting cause my bf gone

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Who hated pac though?

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Biggie? LMAO hell no he visit all the time

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Lies never glitching cause I was like why would you say that - them bitches using me like their shield

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It’s still hard not to feed into it big

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Lies… glitching cause of*

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I roll solo not in a pack and why are they allowed to force me to?

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That’s what makes me sick so easy cause they tied me too

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Why would I want to be down with them? Helll nooo

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And everyone sleeping me asking me questions… I hope they realize they don’t get the truth then either - spirits trick and joke a lot

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You can’t take that for Bible either

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If it was the truth my predators would’ve been arrested and caught a long time ago

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I’m a person not a magic 8 ball

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Why won’t they ask me to my face awake though?

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I know my father well and he slips a lot… he was so happy jicera that birthday I got sick he always used to say I reminded him of the girl in titanic… I wish he spit it out but then bitches were up to their tricks and I got sick and confused instead

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Just make sure you have LOTS of pictures growing up

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Nah my version talks about the fireworks and chosing what makes me cry of are you still down

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Come on guys I’m a 6 at best… wtf would I think Tupac was the one that loved or wanted me?

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Complete opposite… madddd insecure now and even then too

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I always knew it was the ac why they all would hit on me so much

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Not usually a stupid bitch unless they were being medically viscous

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Magically viscous*

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That birthday I ended up in hilly hills… I realized after being shot that rivers told me ric gave Melissa a gun and then was like wait the fight was because I invited rivers to her surprise party

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But they obviously friends and hiding that why?

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Nothing clicked… so thank you for shooting me in a way

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lol

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The time they tried to od me with pills I mean wtf so serious you know?

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Why would you keep me from my daughter and how did you know I had one when I didn’t even know?

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The bitch just got weirder and weirder - I knew she was weird when I met her

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I thought she od’d me by accident but now not so sure

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What would I have gotten killed over?

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THAT TIME

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After I got shot I called to ask her about my ex cause I didn’t remember him like that either and she laughed and said she was with her family and hung up - we weren’t even in a fight

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So I was like okkkkk bitch

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Went insane back to back trying to figure out wtf was going on

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No nobody will tell me if I got shot or not either… I know it’s real and I know my dad didn’t correct me when I said it either - he would’ve if it wasn’t true

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I grateful Tim was in jail the entire time cause I know they would try to blame him too

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Hate him but glad he’s safe from all that and pray he stay safe from all that if someone can get some help and direction to him

https://youtu.be/tT1yHzMv9EY?si=RkNgipqbKMwiMiOW

NOW let em in…

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It’s Ceras bday… I’m gonna write her a letter

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I traced against you and won… but I was just playing… slaughter them em

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It’s crazy cause I was laughing an hour ago crying 15 minutes ago and now laughing again… bipolar a BITCH!!!!

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I just hate not making or having my OWN money… I hate having to ask for everything

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And I despise controlling people too

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Someone ALWAYS reminding me what they spending… if they just let me get up again

Happy Birthday Jicera

32? Omg pac we old as fuck…
Do I look too old for you now…
Cause having gorgeous young man not a good look to be a cougar
Jicera please know your dad the angel for real
And I may prefer hell but lived my best to answer to God
I lied to him about my age and almost ruined his career
No matter how hard the decision was please understand that…
Your dad had a destiny and mission and a purpose the world needed and couldbt be without!
I pray for you everyday
I think about you everyday
And trying to convince your father that if I was with him… at least I can see you everyday too…
I don’t care how many insanities and visits to god it took
THANK GOD I know now
and thank Jay Z too
I would love to see you
Pappy would’ve loved to see you I know that for facts how excited he was the bday that it all went wrong…
I know he watch over you too
He had it hard girl… pappy had it too hard
But a lot of times life isn’t fair…
Your dad here… he staying until he takes me too
And no matter how stupid it sounds - I pray he in witsec coming to get me everyday
I know not how much i see him though
Do you have any children?
You looked so much like him when you was born… do you look like me too?
My only request… please believe in a god cause our family built on nothing but faith being confirmed pregnant and the way we both had a direct connect to him together …
Love you… please find me
I’d take 2M dna tests if it means I find you baby girl
We got you here… God made us promise we got you here and we did
I just wish I could’ve been your mom too
Love you… cherish you and pray for the day I get to hug you too
AND if daddy had you and you still have ties… tell him to buy you your dream car NOW!!! lol
I know your parents let you know and pray and wish for me too
Let them kjnow i couldn’t be more grateful

love you baby girl!
Sleepy… I think I’m actually going to get some sleep tonight

LORD no nightmares for my baby girl PLEASE you know me and her father had enough for a whole lot of us

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I’m a stay loyal Cers unless pac say now… I couldn’t in right hard love someone else only cause it’s him coming thru

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I heard u miss you and got all fucked up

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Right heart*

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Non pac… I knew it was an option but I never wanted that… I’m some delusional and refuse to accept your really dead I just want to be with you too

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Nun*

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My city got you and biggie painted on a wall… CT love you too

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I’m sorry it took so long to realize but feel that was the hypno too… these psychs OFF THE HOOK

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I’ll try to eat but I don’t want to… i think I lost 2o lbs in 3 weeks im so sick right now

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I loved him until I realized I was just holding on to feel your dad again

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That peace and comfort thiough

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It’s everything to me

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He don’t even care… not even swearing me

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After your dad always treating me like a princess even letting me do coke? I can’t accept or put up with that

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I know what I deserve

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Cause my mind really stop racing and I actually get some peace

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Bbq chicken (throw up emoji) I hate it

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AND my product tell me what they think is ok to get away with like it remind me

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I don’t ever want to be a stupid delirious bitch again

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I refuse to stop until your dad take me too… maybe if you told him it’s ok

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My dad drunk himself to and had a horrible death… I’m lived

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Vexed*

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Pac seriously how do famous people do it when psychos just attach themselves to your body? How DO I make them stop and get off me?

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Any jealous bitch can do it? How?

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My step dad got me a jalepno bagel… I’ll eat that if I can’t sleep

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Nite baby girl and happy bday for real

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I can’t wait until me and your dad finally back together

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I know pac told me.. i can’t do it myself or I’ll never see him adding. That in its self enough to stop me and it is just a curse

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It’s like a… PAIN and hurt and why and I sand bead it anymore and don’t deserve it

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You just want to be with God to heal but it’s anything then God

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I feel stupid but yeah I fight suicide a lot

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Never in my life will I do it though or try again

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I fear the after too much if I do

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And don’t want to risk not seeing your dad again…!it keeps me strong

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Not being able to see your dad again keeps me curbed - even when they were putting cigs out on my vv