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U.S. House
Mentioning Bush has become a trademark for me
talkin bout how we the mark for tradin overseas
cheap Chinese labor destroyin our economy
this next metaphor isn't as blunt
its a little hidden like the osama hunt
try thinking of the US as a house
and we only get what the gov't gives out
picture the house having termites
slowly over time damage appears with their bites
these cracks are made throughout the home
now terrorists are where the buffaloes used to roam
the gov't tryin reword land of the free
....................to the land of we'll see
Bush should be the house's owner
instead he thinks of war and gets a boner
since he changed the country without feeling
he should look above the ceiling
up there is the Bill of Rights
out the window, views of historical sights
when we were the apple of the world's eye
instead of now, bein greedy, obsessed with I
so how did he become person of the year
when so many mothers shed a tear
for the loss of their sons
because of low oil funds
so in '08 a new Republican runs
and there's more of the same...taxes by the tons
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it was pretty good, i can imagine this going over a fast beat... but then the first two lines are a bit long maybe... but you can probably rearrange or take out a word or two and it will still retain the meaning while shortening those two lines... nice work, peace.
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Mentioning Bush has become a trademark for me
talkin bout how we the mark for tradin overseas
cheap Chinese labor destroyin our economy
this next metaphor isn't as blunt
its a little hidden like the osama hunt
^^I liked this little piece right here. I like when people take their rhymes to a political level sometimes. We all got our own opinions of Bush, and I agreed with a lot of the shit you said in this one. I liked this freestyle though, it sounded like you had a lot to get off your chest.
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This was a good piece very political and I liked the read. Although I like bush but Im not going to let that be a factor in my response. It had some ups and downs like normal pieces do. But for the most part the message was clear. Keep dropping and giving feedback.
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This was a good post, i like the topic.
The structure and vocab was good the flow was ok, but you said what you felt in the verse and that was dope to me, i really like d the first 4 lines.
Overall a good drop.
Return the favour.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=168868
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Some parts to this peice were really intresting. But on the flip-side, some were pretty lame, i thought that sex bit coulda been worded a lot better, and some of your bars lacked anything that stood out. The whole verse flow'd nice, and it had a very nice feel throughout the verse. Keep it up.
Thanks for feedback on my piece.
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I like this hook yo i just personally cant speak bout bush cuz im canadian....
but itz better than the shit i put out!!
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This was iight.....good job keep droppin..........
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This was ok drop in my opinion. It flowed for the most part, try to make it flow throughout though. The topic was kind of played, seen this concept many of times. Maybe try builiding it like an actual song, with a chorus and seperate verses. Average drop.
Ok, here:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=168223
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i liked this...topic was nice, and it kept on track through the whole verse...i felt maybe you could have added some multis, to make it really flow, and to make the structure a lil more complex, but other than that...it was hot.
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